thisducks | The Choices Made [for Daily / admonish]

[ He didn't understand.

He didn't understand why they were all so mad at him. Everyone was so mad. Being shoved into a silent, dark room and told to stay there in a tone that brook no argument... it felt like hours ago. Deep inside, he was afraid for Lilith. He had no idea where she was, how mad they were at her. All of it felt so incredibly confusing and seeing the people he loved look that angry, that... scared? It left him shook to his core.

So Lucifer sat in silence, his wings wrapped around him like a tight cocoon, with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around his knees. He thought of Sera scolding him for saying he loved the humans with all his heart when she finally caught him sneaking down to the Garden. He thought of Lilith crying, telling him the words Adam had spoken to her that made her angry until she cried in his arms, and how he eased her tears and found ways to make her smile again. How he'd wanted her to be free when she said she felt like she was in a cage.

It'd all made sense in his head, before. What difference would her knowing more make to the other angels? Then he'd feared Eve would be trapped in the same way, what if Adam would do the same..?

He'd just wanted them to be happy.

So why was everyone so angry at him? ]

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From:

admonish

[ when he closes his eyes, the emotion he feels within begins to show. the fear, the hopelessness, he can’t even tell him what to expect because this has never happened before.

upon hearing the knock, he lowers his wings to give them his attention but draws a finger to his lips to hush them. he even lowers his own voice, it being just loud enough for their newly acquired guest to hear. ]

Give us a moment, he is speaking to Father. When he has finished, I will escort him. Surely they can wait another thirty seconds.

[ his voice is as soft as ever but he finds himself almost attempting to shield Lucifer from the voice, knowing it will likely startle him further. of course they would come to collect him right after he finally started to calm down.

the smile that he offers the voice is pleasant but his eyes are sharp—he isn’t asking for his permission. once that is settled, he gives his twin roughly a minute more before gently resting a hand against his back to rouse him from his prayer. ]

Lucifer? It’s time to go, remember what I said. Be brave. Would you like to hold my hand along the way?

[ without waiting for an answer, he offers it to him. ]

From:

thisducks

[ At the touch to his back, Lucifer's head lifts and he blinks several times coming back to himself from the depths of his own one-sided discussion with their Father. Michael's visage and words draw him back to the now, and the remembered fear tries to bubble up in his chest. However, the offered hand puts a cap upon it, stopping it from climbing any higher, set firmly into place when he immediately takes that hand and curls his fingers together with his brother.

He nods despite the fact he can't be any less ready to meet those who would judge him, but trusts in Michael. At least he won't be alone. ]

Let's go. [ Just a whisper, but there's no tears as he stands up along with his twin, his free hand straightening his robes. His wings are tucked in close to him, almost trying to come around him in an angel's comfort, but he manages to hold them somewhat steadily back as they should be.

The one who came to get them leads the way. Guide or guard, hard to say, but either way they are led to the Great Hall. The seriousness of the trial is immediately clear once they're inside. The only ones in attendance are the highest ranks of angels and no others, with Sera waiting in her normal place and the empty places that normally are reserved for the twins.

When Lucifer sees them all from this perspective, looking down on him, he starts to tremble though he isn't sure why. They are all his family, his friends, those he loves. They mean him no harm. So why does it feel so cold all of a sudden? ]

...Michael... [ Just a breath of his brother's name, fingers gripping tighter. ]

From:

admonish

I will be here no matter what, remember that.

[ the final audible reassurance he gives him before leading him by the hand out of the dark room. even the light spilling down on him from the hallway must be a blessing, his brother was never meant for the darkness. if he can help it, he will never find himself in that room again.

for the duration of their walk, he keeps himself between the one leading them and Lucifer. there is trust there, he knows no one would be foolish enough to try anything right now, but he can’t shake the knot if uneasiness gathering in his belly that tightens with every step.

while unsure of what he was initially expecting, the eyes looking through him and pinning his twin in place with their mistrust has him squeezing his hand, knowing the reassurance is necessary before he even looks at him. when he does there is no judgment on his face, it softens in fact, and he holds his hand even while addressing all of them. ]

If my judgment is to be cast here today, mine will be given from his side. Just as I would stand beside any of you were the roles reversed. I ask that you withhold your judgment until he has said his peace. He is our brother, remember that.

[ there is no thinly veiled threat in his tone, it’s as soft and regal as ever, he even smiles as he regards each and every one of them with a polite incline of his head. he could hold no ill will against them even if he wanted to, they orchestrated none of this and had no part to play save for now.

upon hearing the tremble in his voice, he turns and rests both hands on his shoulders, his back to the angelic jury. ]

Be brave, remember? Take my strength if you must and hold my hand. Be honest with them and they will understand that what you have done, you did with good intent.

From:

thisducks

I'll try. [ Just a whisper, and his lips part to say more, but from up above, Sera speaks down to Michael. ]

Archangel Michael, it has been decreed from above that Lucifer must stand alone, for any presence but his own may muddle our ability to clearly judge him for his actions. [ Her voice is firm, but her eyes show how little she wishes to be giving this statement.

Beside Michael, Lucifer tenses hard, his fingers in a painfully tight grip at the idea of losing his brother from his side. ]

No! Please- please let him stay with me! [ His voice cracks in his fear, looking up to Sera and pleading with his voice and his eyes. ]

I am sorry, but this comes from an authority greater than this court. Do not make this harder than it already is.

[ Lucifer looks to his twin, knowing that Michael must listen or be in as much trouble as himself, but that doesn't mean his eyes beg for him not to go, even if it isn't a fair thing to ask. ]

From:

admonish

[ the second Sera calls upon him, he knows what she will say before the words can even fall from her lips. meeting her gaze, he opens his mouth as if to protest then simply closes his eyes. there are no words that will convince them or Him to allow him to remain at his side, even knowing his presence is the only comfort he could be given during this trial. ]

I understand.

[ without turning to look at his brother, he quietly plucks a feather from his wings and carefully deposits it into the palm of his free hand, closing his fingers around it. if he is unable to stand with him here, he can at least give him a piece of himself to hold onto.

the look on his face is another rarity, though it is difficult to decipher. everything he feels on the inside for him: pain, fear, and pity, they have all culminated together one. he reaches out and carefully untangles their hands, but not before giving his another reassuring squeeze. ]

You are braver than you realize. Have faith, Lucifer. Though I cannot stand beside you, I am here. If you feel afraid, squeeze that feather in your hand and you will find your strength. Forgive me.

[ he reaches out and give his cheek the barest of touches before he takes a step back and angles his wings to allow them to flap downward sharply and carry him to his seat. once he has it, he is forced to look upon the trembling form of his brother and it guts him further. he is about to take his seat when a surprised look crosses his face, followed by his eyes closing. any angel who witnesses this can understand what is happening—Father is speaking to him.

when they open again, he makes no attempt to hide his distress. he even turns to look at Sera for a moment before straightening up to regard Lucifer again. ]

You have been called upon today to face Judgement for your actions. [ it is Michael’s voice, yes, but there is more behind it. his voice carries further than usual and has more weight to it. he might be speaking the words but they are not his own. ] Before it is passed, have you anything to say for yourself?

Once you have stated your peace, your fate will be decided by those in attendance. Despite knowing it was forbidden why, then, did you share the fruit of knowledge with the humans?

[ Lucifer has already told him why but, as he is not the one on trial, the information is not his to share. It must be freely given by the accused. ]

From:

thisducks

[ Don't leave me. Everything in Lucifer's body and soul begs silently for Michael not to, to keep his promise, even as Michael creates the piece of himself and places it within Lucifer's hands. He's already terrified, a churning in his stomach that he can't explain, because by all rights he believes he will be okay. This is his family, and while he did something wrong, they still love him.

Yet their eyes down on him do not feel like love. What the expressions mean, he doesn't know, but the weight of their judgment is heavy on him - and then, he's alone. His eyes follow Michael upward, fighting back the urge to say something more, to scream, anything, but he knows it won't make a difference.

They all understand it is Father speaking when Michael's lips part. Lucifer holds the feather in his palm, cradling it up to his chest with both hands atop one another. When Father speaks, it sinks his heart into a cold pit. He had told Father everything, spilled every last fear and thought in his heart.

...Had he truly not been listened to?

No, no. It just has to be repeated for everyone, that's all. Just believe. Have faith. Michael's words ring in his mind and he fights down the shake in his voice before he speaks. ]

When Lilith told me she was unhappy, that day in the Garden, I didn't understand why. After all, hadn't she been created to be Adam's perfect mate, like all the other animals? When I asked her to explain, she told me about what Adam had done - that he had demanded she submit to him, tried to control her... it isn't right! They're supposed to be equal! She made her choice, and Eve... Eve was created for him, but Lilith was still there, trapped and unhappy. I... [ His voice fell, fighting himself to keep the tears from his voice and his eyes. ]

I just wanted Lilith to be happy again. She heard me talk about... the world outside of Eden, and about Heaven... [ He looks to everyone there, meeting gazes across the room before gesturing out with his free hand. ] Wouldn't any of you do something if you knew you could make someone you cared about happy, if they were hurting?? Then- I thought about what happened to Lilith and I was scared it would happen to Eve, too. I... I didn't know... she would offer it to Adam, too. I never thought I would feel... that I could... that I'd care so much about them - all three of them!

...I didn't understand... what it would do to them. [ Finally, his gaze drops, his wings sagging with it. ] I had no idea. I might have, if anyone talked to me, but every time I tried to ask about the new world... I got turned away. I just wanted to be a part of it! I'm sorry. ...I'm sorry I messed things up. I didn't mean to! B-But it happened anyway, and I'm so... so sorry. Please, don't be mad at them.

[ His mind scrambles, trying to think of anything else, but fails to find the words. Instead, he takes a breath in an attempt to steady himself, and tries to show courage by looking up again. ]

That's... that's why.

From:

admonish

A husband should function as the worship leader for his marriage, as intended. To submit to him did not mean she was stripped of her ability to think for herself, she was free to make her own decisions and would not have been faulted for them. Given time and without undue influence, they could have found that out for themselves. When that became unachievable, Eve was created to take her place and they were thriving.

[ there is a delicate emphasis on were, not enough to be harsh but enough to remind Lucifer that things had changed and not did the better. he was not put before the court for good deeds. but there is pain in the way the next line is delivered. ]

They did not make the choice, you made it for them. As his wife, it should have been known that Eve would share a harvest with Adam. Do equals not also share with one another? Not understanding the gravity of the situation is why this trial has been convened. There was no ill-intent behind your gift, all present are aware of that.

But malice has taken root nonetheless and nothing can be done to stop it now. The Garden of Eden was their protection, Lucifer, not their cage.

Despite not meaning to do so, you tempted them away from their paths and made their decisions for them. Those in attendance were to guide them and only that, so that they may learn to live for themselves by means of their own two hands. The newest creation was not prepared for what they were given but, given time, they could have been.

[ gently: ] They will not stand trial, they were unaware of the consequences but you were not. The Laws are upheld for a reason—not to punish but to protect.

[ he casts a meaningful glance around the room to get the attention of those present then looks down at Lucifer again. ]

If you have nothing to add, we will deliberate now.

From:

thisducks

[ Lucifer listens in silence to the Voice that speaks through his brother, his hands clasped in front of him. A part of him is grateful to think, at least, the humans he loved so dearly would not suffer his punishment. His thumb rubs slowly against the feather held in his palm, trying to take strength from it, but even though he racks his mind for something more, there is nothing he can find to say against the truth being spoken. And yet- ]

I wish that, when I had asked questions, I had not been just turned away. That the greater reasons behind the choices made would have been explained, realizing it would have changed the outcome of all of this. ...but I can't deny that I did something wrong. All I can do is apologize, and- and accept your decision.

[ When his head drops down, unable to look up at them - at his brother - any longer, the first tear hits the back of his clasped hands. ]

Thank you, for... for not punishing them, too.

[ And with that, he goes silent. No sniffling from his tears, hiding them as best he can with the dip of his head and the brim of the hat upon his brow. His wings press tight to his back, their quivering seen in the faint tremble of the longest primaries.

I'm sorry, Michael... I don't think I'm as brave as you need me to be. ]

From:

admonish

Understood. We shall begin now.

[ his statement gets little more than a nod before those in attendance stand, close their eyes and leave Lucifer faced with an uncomfortable and likely unbearable silence. The Voice speaks to them and no single face gives him even a glimmer of what they might be discussing. his fate, of course, but the crime has never been one of this magnitude.

even Michael’s face remains expressionless, though his wings do tremble near the end of the deliberation. when the gathering does lift their heads, the eyes that once held contempt now hold echoes of regret. a decision has been reached but he is the very last one to open his eyes. it is his face that spoils the result of their deliberation. try as he may, though he is able to hold them back, his eyes are misty.

even so, it does not seep into the Voice that follows. no one takes a seat, they all clasp their hands and look on wordlessly, with Sera’s expression matching Michael’s own. this isn’t bad news, it is worse than that—and he must be the one to deliver it. ]

A decision has been reached. Raise your head and it will be delivered unto you. [ true to form, once he looks up, Michael clasps his hands in front of him and continues. ] Lucifer, son of the morning, for the crime of disobedience against God and Heaven, you will henceforth be taken to the Gates and cast out, you are no longer permitted to remain here.

Furthermore, you will govern all those who give into temptation by way of your gift, to bear witness with your own eyes and see why it was forbidden. To see the darkness in humanity that was locked away until now. The light of Heaven will never again touch your cheek.

That is my decree.

[ and that it is, no further fanfare or gimmicks, He is simply gone. in his place, Michael sinks backwards into his chair as his wings droop limply beside him, staring down at his twin with wide eyes.

this could not be happening, Father is never so cruel. it must be a mistake, it has to be, but when he tries to speak with Him again he is greeted by an eerie silence. the power in his voice is gone now, reduced to a panicked whisper. ]

Lucifer..

From:

thisducks

[ Silence.

Lucifer stares up towards his twin with confusion, unable to comprehend what was spoken to him. It feels like the breath has been taken from his lungs; they could not take in air. That his heart has stopped from the moment he heard those two damning words cast out; it could not find the strength to beat. His ears have gone deaf.

He can't look away from Michael even as several of Heaven's protectors stand, their orders certain from Above. Each takes a step forward, creating a half-circle in the Hall before Lucifer, then in turn they pull the spears from their backs and level the tips at Lucifer. He can't hear that there is whispering, with a few voices speaking louder than others.

His mouth forms Michael's name as terror restarts his heart, but he can't produce the sound. His gaze finally breaks away as the protectors step forward again, closing in the circle like a barrier between him and the people he knows as his family. At his back, the Hall's existence shifts. The wall disappears and what should be well aways from this place is now here - the very edges of Heaven, where far below only lies darkness. Not just darkness - nothingness.

Lucifer is forced a step back, staring at the weapons leveled at him, and finally it all shatters in him. ]

FATHER! FATHER, NO! PLEASE! [ His voice breaks as he shrieks, absolute terror threading through his voice and showing blown wide in his eyes. ] FATHER- PLEASE! DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE! I BEG OF YOU- PLEASE!

From:

admonish

[ the absolute silence is nearly deafening, there has never been a time since his creation that Father ignored him, not one. he finds himself looking skyward in the odd hope that he will see Him watching the proceedings, that he will hear the desperation in his cries and appear to soothe him—but no, nothing, it never comes.

he is rooted to the spot despite his eyes being locked on his brother, the words of reassurance given to him before all but destroyed in the moment the decree was upheld. he promised him that everything would work out, this his voice would be heard, but instead he is being ousted from the only home he has ever been.

alone. all alone. even those who speak up in his behalf, rising from their chairs to do so, are thoroughly ignored. there is one voice in all of Heaven that cannot be ignored and this was His. no amount of pleading will change His mind now, not even from the favored son who is trembling so violently that the protectors may not even have to touch him, as he will lose his footing eventually.

but no, no, it will not end like this.

on the very first Father, Michael has risen from his seat and given a look to Sera. there are no words exchanged before he jumps, catching himself with his wings, to gracefully glide down and land beside Lucifer. in the midst of his dive, he called upon his sword and, after blocking his twin with his body, he points the sword at the protectors. when one tries to take a step toward, he brings down the sword and knocks the spear from his hands.

the shock felt from the room is palpable, along with the gasps. instead of anger from him, he puts in his usual smile and looks up at the faces he has grown to love and care for. ]

I have taken up arms against Heaven and, for that, I must also be judged accordingly. Father has chosen silence but I have not. I will spare you another trial—I choose to fall with him.

[ the sword disappears just as quickly as it was summoned and he gathers Lucifer into his arms to soothe his tears. for his part there are none, just a resigned smile as he reaches over and strokes at his hair. ]

We were created together. If you are meant to fall, then I will join you. You will not be alone in your fate, Lucifer.

From:

thisducks

[ As his voice fractures, Lucifer stares up and sees his brother coming at him with drawn sword and for one moment, one horrific moment, all he can think is his brother will finish the decree by his own hand, but no, no, Michael becomes his protector as he has always been.

I choose to fall with him.

Lucifer wraps his arms around his brother with desperate strength. In the place they had been born together, they find each other again, tuck into one another's arms. He wants to deny Michael's words, that Michael did nothing wrong, he shouldn't suffer his fate, but instead all he can do is lift his wet eyes to meet his brother's and whisper three words in reply. ]

I love you.

[ He cannot see Sera's resigned nod, a look of pain in her eyes but her mouth a flat line as she gestures, but because he's facing the way he is, he sees the flash of white Michael cannot. They both feel something far colder than ice pierce through both of them, stealing away their breath in the freeze that follows. Michael would see Lucifer's eyes go wide, then the part of his lips as he tries to say something. Instead, a weak cough. Golden blood speckles Lucifer's lips.

A spear of light, straight through Michael's back and out Lucifer's, directly centered where each of their six wings meet. ]

From:

admonish

[ his desperation is indeed met by a quiet strength, both arms encircling and holding him close. at the words he reaches up and cradles his face in one hand. of course he will always protect him, even if it happens to be from their family. those attending should have been aware of that, he never would have turned his back on him in his time if need. ]

I love you, too. I told you, you will never stand alone.

[ he is smiling clear up until he notices the fear in his eyes and the unuttered warning. he never sees it coming but the chilly jolt that rips through the middle of him draws out a sharp gasp as a hand is drawn up to touch at his chest. but his pain is not his main concern right now.

unaware, or uncaring, of the blood coming from his own mouth, he reaches out to catch him should he start to fall. the very last thing he does is cast a glance over his shoulder, to Sera, before he closes his eyes and holds him with every intention of taking any other blow delivered to them.

or at least that would be the case if he didn’t, with what little strength he has left, just usher them both to the edge. without needing the jolt of another spear, he turns and allows the both of them to fall. ]

Hold onto me..

[ he even attempts to twist in the air to keep his back pointing downward rather than Lucifer’s own. the chill hasn’t left his body yet and the heaviness that has settled over him makes him want to sleep, but he fights it to ensure his brother is safe. ]

From:

thisducks

[ He has been cold before. The first time Adam playfully dragged him into the pond at night, he'd found himself shivering in the night breeze and trying to figure out what was happening to him. The exploration of the strange white places the others had created at the top and bottom of the world, where water fell as flakes and the wind blew chill. Sometimes at night, the blanket kicked off, he found himself chilly until Michael came and pulled the blankets back over him, letting him fall back asleep snuggly and warm.

But this cold is like nothing he has ever felt before. It steals into every part of him, saps the strength from his knees, his hands- but none of that matters. Not when he sees the blood from Michael's lips. Michael!

Michael moves them both, though it only takes a few steps to bring them to the brink. He catches a glimpse of those he has always called his family, the many, many eyes staring back at them. Some in sadness, some in terror, some in knowing, and Sera- he doesn't understand her eyes, but Michael will. Just as he had taken his place as the trial began, so she will hold her place. There is no hatred, only a deep sorrow what she must do, but she will see His decree through in Michael's place.

And then, there is nothing beneath his feet. Together, they Fall.

The air whistles around them, louder and louder, until Michael's words are the last and only thing he can hear. He clings to Michael with every bit of his strength, and instinct tries to move his wings to stop the fall, but there's another spike of primal terror when his wings don't respond to his need. The spear had struck true, tearing through the muscles that let them control their wings, taking away flight from creatures that could fly before they could move in any other way.

Michael will see the light above as it fades, while Lucifer is forced to stare into the darkness as it grows. The cold fills them entirely, leaving only the warmth where they hold to one another fighting to stay alive, but numbness never follows.

In the blackness, a great eye flashes open. It is vast beyond understanding, a crimson sclera and a slit of black for a pupil, and Lucifer can tell the moment it sees them because something slides across his soul, like a hand smearing dirt behind. The great eye closed and in its place, a thousand thousand tiny ones began to open, until endless eyes are staring at them and able to see into every nook and cranny of their essence until Lucifer thinks he screams but he doesn't even know-

Power reaches out and grasps into both of them, and for the first time, their light will be stained by the taint of Sin, corrupting through their souls and in turn, their physical forms.

This time, he's sure he screams. ]

From:

admonish

[ he has to raise his voice over the howling of wind and isn’t even sure he will be heard, but he tries nonetheless. ] Whatever happens, do not let go of me! Lucifer? Do not let go!

[ even as they free fall through the air he can still see the look Sera gave them before he made his choice. a small, sad smile appears on his face as he watches the light of heaven fade, knowing there are several angels there who spoke up against the decision. his heart bleeds for them because he is certain their actions will now be monitored carefully, so much so that even the slightest mistake may lead them astray.

the dull, throbbing ache in the middle of his back has him grimacing, especially when he realizes his wings are effectively useless. they are descending so quickly that he is almost certain they will make contact with a surface soon and it will be the end of them. perhaps, if he can keep his back to the ground, he can take the brunt of it and spare his twin further agony.

while his brother is a devoted dreamer, he is the sword of god, ready and willing to place himself between friend or foe if it meant protecting them. he is far more prepared for the pain that jolts through them both when the darkness encompasses their forms. however, the pain isn’t simply designated to one point, it flares up immediately and seems to reach even the tips of his broken wings.

in a last desperate bid to protect him, he tucks Lucifer’s face against his chest and covers his eyes with the same hand. the eyes seem to bore right through them, sifting through their deeds until it latches hungrily onto the ones that brought them here today. he narrows his eyes at the wall of eyes, gritting his teeth to keep from crying out. it works for a short while, until he can feel the changes begin.

when he does cry out, it is with a mouthful of sharp teeth, so sharp that he can taste more blood in his mouth when a tooth catches viciously against his lip. he catches a glimpse of long dark tendrils of shadow that creep up his arms and stain the flesh of his hands as if to give his sin a visible form. the other changes will have to wait their turn to be noticed because, in that moment, their bodies collide against a solid surface and Michael loses consciousness. ]

From:

thisducks

[ Time passes, but it has become meaningless in the face of true unconsciousness. So when Lucifer starts to come around, the unknowns come in multitudes - place, time, condition, self. He is deaf, dumb, and blind, but the physical matters less when the mental hasn't even collected itself enough to plug into the body. More time passes in an unknown amount while he swims in the darkness of his own mind until finally he manages to anchor himself enough to try to acknowledge the existence of his body.

He regrets the choice in short order.

The deafness starts to recede first, going from silence to hissing to a different kind of silence. It's followed by the blindness, going from black to grey and remaining there. His mouth and throat are so dry that he can't even try to speak, so he doesn't bother-

until he realizes he is whimpering to himself as the pain makes itself known. His entire body hurts! There's burning agony in his arms, hands, legs, and feet. His head feels like it's split open and down the middle while his eyes feel like they're full of sand, scratching and badly irritated. There is something wrong with his chest, though he can't place the sensation other than the broad concept of pain. Even his wings and spine hurt in a way he has never felt before.

...Michael.

The thought is the lone reason he puts effort into trying to sit up. His hands scramble against what he thinks is dirt, adding to the burning, but it helps him get himself up. With his hand badly shaking, he wipes at his eyes with the back of it, working up tears with great effort. Combined, the methods let him start blinking away what is irritating his eyes until his vision gets some level of clarity, though it still seems impossibly dark. He's never known true darkness because it doesn't exist in Heaven.

When he can see anything at all, he starts looking through the grey until he spots something light - it's just off to his side, though until he started to get up he probably had been partly on it. He uses his hand that isn't braced to reach out, his mind off-handedly thinking his hand and arm are covered in dirt or mud, until it presses to that other thing clumsily. His fingers curve; his nails feel incredibly strange. ...Skin. Warm skin.

MICHAEL!

He scrambles, nearly pitching into the dirt, blinking violently as he tries to call Michael's name, but he can't produce a sound. His wings drag behind him, awkward in their positioning and limp, but it doesn't matter. He tries to press against his brother's chest, an attempt to shake him awake.

All around them, what Lucifer's mind thinks of as dirt, are ashes. An endless space of black and ashes. ]

From:

admonish

[ cold. silence. pain.

he still feels like he is falling endlessly through that darkness, spinning this way and that, because all he can concentrate on in the heaviness of his body and limbs. the lingering warmth he felt while he was holding his brother has long since been smothered out, replaced by a sensation so sharp that it feels as if he is being pierced repeatedly by the tips of angelic spears. never deep enough to cause permanent damage, but the cuts are shallow and limitless.

the silence registers next for him, a silence so profound that he has never heard before, he wasn’t even aware it could exist. heaven teemed with life, everything had a voice if you knew how to listen for them, but there is no such thing here. could anything survive here? perhaps they were simply lucky.

they. he did not arrive here alone. where is Lucifer?

unlike his twin he jolts upright when he shakes him but immediately collapses against him when the pain hits him all at once. something course is brushing up against his skin, fine like sand, but his mind is so consumed by fear that he files the information away for later. despite a series of ragged gasps, his fingers fumble around blindly in an attempt to seek out Lucifer’s frame.

when a hand does reach out to grab for his arm, the talon-like claws bite into his skin unintentionally. even if he cries out in pain he will not hear him, but that is far from the worst discovery he has found. upon finally willing himself to open his eyes he is greeted by nothing but darkness. logic takes root for a few precious seconds before his free hand lifts itself towards his face and finds hands. cold and unfeeling hands that do not budge when he tries to swipe them aside.

he can’t see. he can’t see anything.

frantically, the hand that was on Lucifer’s arm joins the one on his face as those sharp nails tear at the offending hands covering his eyes, occasionally scraping against his face in the process. golden blood spills from the cuts but he is undeterred, his breath coming out in desperate wheezes. the voice that follows is incredibly hoarse, his throat feeling drier than a desert, but he manages to get a few words out. ]

See— I cannot—

[ his first day in their own personal hell and he has already shown his brother a new side of himself. the angel who is known for being even-tempered and a beacon for strength is practically falling apart at the seams. the darkness is hardly the worse part, though it is still alarming, it’s being unable to see his twin with his own two eyes that is sending him spiraling down. ]

LUCIFER! [ one hand finally draws away from his face, still coated in his blood, to grasp at the air next to Lucifer. his hearing is starting to return to him, so the first thing he is treated to is the sound of his own voice shouting desperately as he tears at his own face. ]

Work, please! Please!

[ why won’t his eyes open? ]

From:

thisducks

[ Hands reach out and grasp each of Michael's wrists, bringing the bloody fingers away from Michael's face and instead, to his own. Lucifer desperately works at his throat, finally finding enough voice to whisper his brother's name as he nuzzles into either of Michael's palms. What he believes to be dirt coating his face, and what Michael can now feel, is dried blood mixed with ashes.

But now he can see his brother's face, and terror stabs into his heart. Letting go of Michael's wrists, he shifts his knees enough to stabilize himself before reaching out slowly to the face he has always known... that looks nothing like what he had.

His fingertips shakily touch through the blood - dried and fresh - until they reach the hands covering where his brother's eyes should be. The hands look very familiar - after all, they are twins - but there is something wrong with them at the same time. It's like looking at marble, but when his fingertips meet, they're warm. Flesh.

It's at that point he realizes something is wrong with his own hands. The fingers too long. Black. Clawed.

Lucifer keens in fear at the back of his throat. What has happened to them?! ]

From:

admonish

[ he doesn’t need to hear his voice to know it is him, he can feel that it is. his hands twitch in his grip but once he draws them to his face, they begin to carefully map it out, both thumbs shakily tracing the length of his cheekbones. it’s enough of a reassurance that he wills himself to calm down, taking several deep breaths and releasing them—rinse, repeat.

when he lets him go there is a flicker of panic but he swallows it, instead letting his hands drift skyward. discolored fingers catch in his hair, slowly sifting through it before finding the start of his horns. just as gently as he has been, he traces them both to try and form some semblance of a picture in his mind.

horns? his brother didn’t have horns but, then again, he didn’t have hands for eyes before their fall either.

as if picking up on his distress, he draws his hands back down to his shoulders, his own black-as-night fingers creeping down the length of both of his arms so he can eventually take up both of his hands. just as they had done with his face, he turns one of Lucifer’s hands palm up before pressing his fingers into it, fingers splaying out to trace along his claws.

were he in possession of them, his eyes would be wide as can be but, as it stands, his only reaction is his lips parting slightly before they are pressed into a thin line. ]

.. Our price?

[ it still hurts to form words, so he keeps them brief, but the next reassurance is a gentle one. ]

Here. I am here.

From:

thisducks

[ When Michael's questing fingers find horn, Lucifer flinches as the pain in his head briefly spikes, but he realizes Michael is touching something on him - part of him? - that he can't see. When their hands are together, it lets Lucifer see what Michael can't, which is their matching blackened hands, ending in claws.

Their price.

What price? ...What have they paid and worse, who was it paid to? ]

Here, too. [ His voice is a rasp and it hurts to get the words out, but he needs to. Reassurance for both of them. Lifting his head, he looks around them slowly and swallows dryly. ]

...nothing else- here. Black.

[ But what Lucifer does next is completely without thought, simply because it is something he has done since his birth into existence. He shifts their touching hands apart, then calls to his hands a simple bowl full of water. The significance of the action doesn't occur to him, more focused on putting Michael's hands on either side of the bowl and guiding it up towards his mouth to drink. ]

From:

admonish

Cold and empty.

[ he doesn’t trust his legs enough to try and stand up yet, so he leans forward to tip their foreheads together briefly and savor what little warmth he can feel radiating off of him. it gives him time to try and gather his thoughts, to figure out where they are meant to go from here.

if it is as desolate as Lucifer makes it out to be, then they are well and truly trapped in this prison of darkness. if he is unable to see any lingering danger, then how is he supposed to protect him? his sword is sticking out of the ash nearby, looking just as dark and twisted as he is. he may not be able to see it but Lucifer can—a single eye now sits at the base of the blade and, if noticed, it actually shifts to notice him right back and stares ahead unblinking.

glancing off to one side, his claws dip into the ash and steal a handful of it, allowing it to sift through his fingertips. it isn’t sand, the consistency is nothing like it.

so, even if he could see, he would still be looking into darkness. that isn’t the slightest bit reassuring, especially knowing his twin looks upon it alone. ]

Describe, please.

[ when his fingers latch onto the bowl he tilts his head a bit, trying to figure out what he is touching. when the rim of the bowl touches his lips, he only accepts a meager mouthful of water before trying to push it towards him.

he needs it more, he thinks, but he also knows he wouldn’t have taken a drink himself if he didn’t at least sip from it. swallowing it feels uncomfortable, he notices the way the ash catches against his throat but works through it.

after taking the drink, his voice is a bit clearer. ]

Can you.. move? Are you hurt?

From:

thisducks

[ He really does need the water and drinks a heavy swallow first, coughing as the dust in this throat catches and starts to clear, but he follows it with another as if his body suddenly remembers it's desperate for the liquid. The bowl ends up completely drained before he knows it, gasping and panting slightly from the long swallowing. The request from Michael hasn't been forgotten, but he does refill the bowl before putting it more firmly into Michael's lap with the silent command of 'now you'.

The question is a difficult one, but he decides to answer that first because he knows it must be worrying Michael's mind. Not that the answer is going to really help. ]

Everything hurts. [ There's a rough edge in Lucifer's voice that isn't from emotion, but as if his throat or maybe his vocal chords have been hurt. He has no conscious memory of how long he had screamed, or when he finally passed out. ] I haven't tried to move very much, but my knees feel like jelly.

[ He looks around them slowly, rubbing his forearm over his face. Everything hurts. Everything itches. He feels filthy from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. ]

...what do you want me to describe?

From:

admonish

[ michael has never been one to refuse him before and does not intend to start now, so his fingertips grip the edge of the bowl to allow him to take another drink of water. he does not finish the bowl, instead cradling it to himself as he looks in various directions. his eyesight might be gone but his hearing is not, he is listening for something. anything that might give him a clue.

everything hurts.

somehow, that cuts even deeper than the spear that effectively crippled their wings. he wants to comfort him, to gather him up into his arms and tell him that everything will be fine once they wake up—but no, this nightmare is real. nonetheless, if given the same choice knowing what he knows now, he would still make the same decision. the idea that his brother could have ended up here alone is horrifying.

eventually he nods, attempting to pass the bowl back to him but it falls, spilling the water onto the ashes between them. his hand reaches out to find it on the ground, never quite coming close enough to touch it. but his fumbling has disturbed a pile of ash just enough to reveal the edges of a tarnished halo. its twin resides roughly a foot away, the color of the finish rivaling the barren landscape around them. ]

Yes, it is the same for me. We should not move until we have recovered, or at least until we figure out what we are going to do.

[ appearing to consider something for a moment, he hums. ]

What has changed? Not in the landscape, but on our forms. The spear crippled our wings, undoubtedly to stop us from attempting to fly back.

From:

thisducks

[ What's unnerving is that Michael hears... nothing. Even outside in Heaven, there would be some kind of sound. The lazy breeze, a soft shuffle of tree leaves, a rustle of grass, a soft song on the air, but here, there is dead silence. Not even so much as a breeze to stir the ashes. It truly is nothing.

As Lucifer tries to rescue the bowl, turning it back upright before ashes can get into it as he has no doubt they're going to need to get clean, drink more... clean Michael's self-made wounds. It's just long enough for him to catch sight of something solid among the ashes, his brows knitting together as he reaches for it. In the silence, it's easy to pick up Lucifer's quiet gasp of shock as he lifts the ring of metal from the ashes.

His eyes lift above Michael's brow, then back down to the metal in his hand, before he's suddenly doing his best to lean over and scrape his fingertips through the ashes. Piece by piece, he finds more of it and Michael will hear it - the motion of Lucifer's fingers in the ash, the faint ping of metal on metal more than once, Lucifer's attempts to hold back sobs. Eventually though, he stops, and so do most of the sounds, but the tiny sobs have turned to the shaky breathes of someone trying with all of his might not to cry.

It only takes two words of explanation, but they hold a terrifying concept. ]

...o-our halos...

[ The fallen, blackened pieces of each pair, lying in a pile in his lap. ]

From:

admonish

[ uncaring of whether the ash will stain his clothing or not, he follows his quivering voice and leans forward to quietly pull him into an embrace. a hand finds his hair, those claws running through it with a surprising bit of gentleness.

broken halos were just that, already broken, so he is less willing to pay them any mind when the person in front of him is still whole but just as fragile. all it would take is one moment of grief for him to fall into despair. he is not willing to let that happen. while cradling him, he murmurs quietly. ]

Are no more. As long as you are here with me, I do not need one.

[ but what they do need is a plan of attack. he vows to give him a few more minutes to grieve before pressing the matter. crying will get them nowhere here, he has to remain resilient for him no matter how thoroughly the pain attempts to overwhelm him.

the soundless void around them is already threatening to devour them it seems. perhaps their punishment is still yet to come and this is simple the first step in its enactment, an appetizer. no matter how he tries to look at it, he is unable to shake the feeling of dread. ]

Broken halos will do nothing for us here but bring about more pain.