The Choices Made [for Daily / admonish]
May. 14th, 2024 08:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisducks[ He didn't understand.
He didn't understand why they were all so mad at him. Everyone was so mad. Being shoved into a silent, dark room and told to stay there in a tone that brook no argument... it felt like hours ago. Deep inside, he was afraid for Lilith. He had no idea where she was, how mad they were at her. All of it felt so incredibly confusing and seeing the people he loved look that angry, that... scared? It left him shook to his core.
So Lucifer sat in silence, his wings wrapped around him like a tight cocoon, with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around his knees. He thought of Sera scolding him for saying he loved the humans with all his heart when she finally caught him sneaking down to the Garden. He thought of Lilith crying, telling him the words Adam had spoken to her that made her angry until she cried in his arms, and how he eased her tears and found ways to make her smile again. How he'd wanted her to be free when she said she felt like she was in a cage.
It'd all made sense in his head, before. What difference would her knowing more make to the other angels? Then he'd feared Eve would be trapped in the same way, what if Adam would do the same..?
He'd just wanted them to be happy.
So why was everyone so angry at him? ]
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Date: 2024-07-05 04:22 am (UTC)his voice is quiet again, with no hint of the venom it held before. ]
No. I am sorry. I should not have—
[ but he did, making excuses for it now does little for the mental image Lucifer will have to live with now. all he can do is reassure him as best he can, to remind him that his anger was directed at someone other than him. ]
My anger was not for you, it will never be directed at you. I am not asking you to change any part about yourself but I will ask you not to shoulder blame that is not yours to suffer. Lilith chose and so did I, and we would make the same choice again. To exist in a world where you are not would be worse than this.
[ he reaches up and wipes his tears away with a surprising amount of care, leaning in to kiss one cheek and then the other. ]
I cannot thrive in a place where you are not, because I would not be complete. Be my hope, Lucifer, and I will be your strength. Confide in me when you are afraid and I will show you there is nothing to fear.
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Date: 2024-07-06 06:06 am (UTC)I'm trying, I swear I am. I cannot be as strong as you, but I will keep trying! I cannot help but but scared for them; I have you and they do not. We know what happened and they do not. I- I made my choice... and took theirs away by doing so.
[ His voice drops away, sounding so very tired in a way Lucifer never does. Always full of energy, always wanting to go, to learn more- usually only falling asleep when he's completely exhausted himself. Today, tonight, time no longer has a relevance, they've both gone beyond their exhaustion points. ]
...Let me wash my hair, and we can sleep. I'll be quick about it.
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Date: 2024-07-06 07:00 am (UTC)[ when their foreheads meet, he tilts his face as if meaning to look at him. finally, he tilts his face up and presses a kiss to his crown before nudging their foreheads together again. ]
If you believe in nothing else, believe in their strength. I wish that I could give you the answers that you seek, but I cannot. If there comes a time when I am able to, I will ask about them. You have my word.
And I am perfectly capable of helping you wash your hair. [ one clawed hand reaches up to run through his hair, itching at his scalp as it does so. he never uses enough pressure to hurt, but he also knows his own limitations right now so, after a moment, he relents. ]
At least allow me to hold the bowl steady, so I do not feel useless sitting here.
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Date: 2024-07-07 02:21 am (UTC)All three of them are incredibly strong. ...I think Eve will need to be the strongest of all. [ His voice goes even softer, a little sadder instead of the anguish of before. ] I was excited to see the tiny human.
[ Lucifer's eyes close as he leans into the itching, his wings quivering at the feeling. ] You are not useless! You don't need to be useful in everything... but- [ He summons more clean water into the bowl, instead turning and putting the comb into Michael's hand. ] Let me scrub through it once in the water, then we can get out the rest together. Deal?
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Date: 2024-07-08 01:09 am (UTC)[ he continues to play with his hair not just to put him at ease, but also to get an idea of how much ash they are dealing with. more than he initially thought, it’s a wonder how Lucifer managed to get it out of his hair. at the mention of the tiny human, he feels his own heart drop. ]
To be the first of something is both a great honor and a great responsibility, having an inner strength bestowed upon them is necessary. We should know that better than anyone, hm? Being the first of our kind ourselves. It is because of that, knowing it was just us once before, that I know we will find our footing here.
[ despite feeling as if he is just trying to placate him, he does smile and shift the comb between his fingers. ]
Deal. Yes, I do not need to be, but it is preferable. I dislike being caught unaware.
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Date: 2024-07-08 03:43 am (UTC)Michael's responsibilities had continued, and his... hadn't. The beginning of what likely led to- well, all of this. ]
I know. [ Lucifer leans forward to kiss his brother's forehead, then shifts forward and into the water so that he can dunk his head down and furiously scrub into it with his fingertips, wincing a time or two as deeply unused to claws as he is, but at least being able to swish away the floating ash to cycle in some cleaner water a few times before flipping his head back. It throws water up on the wall behind him, but that he can ignore to make his scalp less itchy!
Only then does he come back over to Michael, settling himself in front of his brother. It means his wings will be in the water, but he'll dry them both off once they mean to step out completely. ]
It's strange... with no sun. I feel like I have no idea what time it is, or even if it's day or night.
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Date: 2024-07-08 03:40 pm (UTC)to distract him, Michael carefully leans over as if meaning to run the comb through his hair—and promptly begins to gently brush the teeth of the comb against his neck instead. he tries to contain his smile but is unable to, though he is at least able to keep from laughing. he continues on as if he isn’t completely missing the mark for a few passes. ]
I seem to recall you having more hair than this, Lucifer.
[ no, no, he can’t keep up the charade. his shoulders shake with a quiet laugh as the comb finally finds his hair, beginning to carefully pull any remaining ash out before he cleans off the brush and resumes the task again. ]
You are the architect here, it can be whatever time you wish it to be. If it would help, since we are exhausted, you can say it is night. Figuring out some measure of time here would be beneficial, I think. Perhaps then it would not feel so strange to look upon an unchanged sky.
We can worry about that tomorrow, we will have clearer heads after we have been able to rest. Do you think you could make a salve? Once we are out of the water, I can rub it into your back. Our wings may be useless now but I imagine the muscles in our backs will be tender tomorrow.
That icon is *so pretty*
Date: 2024-07-09 06:49 pm (UTC)[ The idea that he is the architect so much so that he can control if it is night or day... it puts a thought in his head, perhaps a dangerous one, when he whispers more to himself than his brother: ] Does that make me like Father? He who controls things like the sun and moon...
[ But he clears his throat and nods to the question. ] I can! Something that will warm the muscles and ease their ache- for both of us. [ Meaning only if Michael allows him to return the favor. His eyes close as he concentrates, imagining just the right substance and a container for it. The golden light appears before he breathes out, then it pops into existence. Smiling, his thumb draws over the marble container about as big as his fist and lifts the cover. It smells wonderful with the scent of warming spices. Lucifer reaches over and puts it on the broad edge of the tub for them to use when they're done. ]
it’s one of my faves
Date: 2024-07-12 02:46 am (UTC)[ he pauses midway through combing through a section of hair then tips his head forward, so he can look in his direction. the statement is such a simple one, the Lucifer present before him now could and would never abuse that power but, even so, he finds himself feeling uneasy. ] .. No. Not like Father, not at all, because you would never do this to another soul. If they have questions, we will give them an answer rather than an excuse. You will be, I believe, even greater than Father because you know both love and pain. In truth, I have wondered if He ever felt them at all.
[ emotions, that is. he is still reeling from the realization that the one who created them would sooner turn His back on them than find a diplomatic solution. Michael orchestrated his own Fall but Lucifer? that is the part of the story that bothers him most, He never even tried to see the world through his brother’s eyes. to create a being so full of love, light and hope, then punish it when it bestows them upon another? he does not understand it. ]
For both of us, yes. Thank you. [ he wants to be useful tomorrow rather than holed up in a room because he is too sore. and he knows if he declines it, Lucifer will do the exact same thing—it is their shared trait, that inherent stubbornness. he cleans the comb off in the bowl and lets it pass through his hair a few more times before: ]
Does that feel better?
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Date: 2024-07-16 04:13 am (UTC)However, at the surprising response to his off-hand statement, Lucifer's eyes open and he blinks up at the ceiling. That isn't what he had meant, but he can't say that Michael is wrong. He can't help his soft words of reply, though. ] I... I don't understand. I would have said for certain... that Father loved us. I have so many memories of His joy, His laughter, His encouragement... do you really think it could have all been a lie?
[ He huffs very softly, but not entirely in disagreement with Michael. Maybe it had been. All a show to make him happy... without actually being able to feel it. He focuses on thinking of what would need to go into such a salve - something to warm the muscles into releasing their tension, something to encourage the damage to heal, and something to gently numb the pain away so they could sleep well.
He runs his fingers through his hair at the question and nods. ] Yep! Thank you, brother. Maybe we'll itch less in the morning than I fear... though I'm still fairly sure going through our wings and hair dry will release a significant amount that was loosened by this.
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Date: 2024-07-16 05:49 pm (UTC)[ it really is that simple, it’s not as if he is in a position to cut it anymore. if it became a nuisance, the solution is simple enough. when his voice softens, he is almost instantaneously rethinking his words. ]
Father is capable of many things but to regard matters with an unbiased eye, sometimes one has to remove themselves from the bigger picture. I believe He created us to govern His emotions and act where He could not. [ he taps the comb against Lucifer’s cheek with a soft hum. ] It would be hypocritical for Him to lie when we are unable to, so no, I do not think it was a lie. But it is very complicated, perhaps far too much to dwell on tonight.
[ due to him nearly falling when he tried to get into the tub, his movements are much more precise as he stands and proceeds to start climbing out. ] If that is the case, we should be able to remove the last of it in a day or so. No matter how we feel in the morning, I want to go back out there and see if I can start planning for our defenses.
[ all work and no play, some things really don’t change. he offers a hand in his general direction to help him exit the tub as well. ]
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Date: 2024-07-23 03:26 am (UTC)[ But his brother's words about their father give him a lot to think about, coming at it from a view point he has never even considered before. Father has always seemed like them, just something... more. Someone who has always been and whom he has always loved, and he believed loved him. It had always simply been. Never questioned, never anything but is. When something so fundamental to one's life is ripped out from beneath them, what is there to but question everything else?
Maybe he is naive, but as he takes Michael's hand and climbs out of the tub, he can't and won't question his brother or his love. ]
When we wake, it will be the first dawn. Then we can look at what we have here and plan from there. [ He looks down at the still-alien hooves at the end of his legs and clicks one against the stone floor, wrinkling his nose before he decides to ignore the uneasy feeling looking at them brings in order to call to his hands two towels. ]
...I can't tell if it's warm or cold here. [ He says quietly as he nudges the towel to Michael's arm, knowing his twin is likely to want to handle drying himself. ] For tonight, I am going to enclose where we sleep. For our safety and so we can get warmed up. Does that sound like a plan?
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Date: 2024-07-23 06:34 am (UTC)[ while Lucifer is wrinkling his nose at them, Michael actually takes the time to map his own legs out as he is drying off. ever the warrior, he feels he needs to be aware of his limitations if there are any. so his twin is treated to the sight of his brother planting a hoof into the floor before he attempts to bend his toes, then he does the exact same thing on a patch of floor that has water on it to test the difference. ]
Our first dawn here. With sleep, we will have clearer heads as well. [ he says it very matter-of-factly, getting a feel for how the permanence of the situation feels. they will never again wake up under a beautiful sky with the warmth of the sun kissing their faces. unwilling to draw attention to it further, he simply nods and secures his towel around his waist. ]
Cold, at least that is how it feels to me. Like I am being pursued by a chill in the air that I am unable to escape from entirely. Perhaps because it is a foreign place, we will acclimate to it eventually. For tonight at least, it is a good plan.
[ he wants to say so much more but settles on reaching out to take one of Lucifer’s clawed hands in his own to give it a squeeze. ]
I will keep my sword close by, but I do not think anything will disturb us tonight. [ because even as angry as he is about what happened, he does not think Father would subject them to further torment today. it may just be wishful thinking, but he is sticking by it. ]
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Date: 2024-07-23 04:52 pm (UTC)He squeezes his brother's hand in return, knowing in his heart that Michael is in as bad of a shape as he is, if not worse, but also knowing that Michael would do nothing less than be his protector. ]
Then let us try and get warm. [ He hasn't even bothered putting his towel around his waist and instead, plops it on Michael's head and gives his hair a brisk rubbing before he steps back with a chuckle. His hooves click so soft against the stone - souls born to fly reflect in their very bones after all - before retaking Michael's hand and tugging gently. He leads the way up the curve of stairs to the large bed, one big enough for both of them and their wings. Since the only kind of bed he knows are ones of incredible softness and support, it's replicated here. Once his brother has reached the bed, he lets go and focuses on the other side of the partly opened room. His fingers curl, molding the shape in his head, and lets the golden magic go when he has it solid.
It is an elegant, impossible shape of gossamer strands of gold and cradled within it is an orb casting off a soft golden glow, one not bright enough to keep them awake but Lucifer... doesn't want to be in dark tonight. It also begins to emit a good bit of gentle heat, one that will eventually completely dry and warm them. As his hand sweeps back, the partial wall comes around to enclose them entirely but to prevent them from having no idea about the world outside, he creates a small window with a clear covering so they can see out, but nothing can get in. He hopes. ]
There we go! We will be warm in no time.
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Date: 2024-07-24 12:08 am (UTC)he might be the more reserved of the two of them but he is still his brother so, while Lucifer is in the midst of creating their shield, he waits until he is done to toss his towel over his head and proceed to dry his hair in the same manner one would polish a bowling ball. is it bratty? absolutely, but it is also a distraction that both of them could use right now.
the help is appreciated but also a painful reminder that he may very well be the weakest link here. just in the same way he is unused to needing assistance, he is also struggling with a growing and unfamiliar sense of anger. none of it is directed towards his brother and, rather than burden him with it, he opts to keep it to himself.
he doesn’t say a single word about it but, as Lucifer has witnessed it in the past, he can probably imagine the way the mischief dances behind his eyes. once done with the towel, he drapes it around his brother’s shoulders. while he may not have said anything about it at the time, his “eyes” can still see the beautiful path left behind by Lucifer’s magic. the warmth he feels radiating from it reminds him of the sun—perhaps it has not been lost to them after all.
he doesn’t even realize he is staring at him until he snaps himself out of his stupor by looking away. ]
Once we have dried off, I will put that ointment on you.
[ his attention diverts to the room they are in, his head moving slowly as if he is taking in every detail it has to offer. in actuality, he is listening for any continuous sounds so that he can discern them from anything out of the ordinary. exhaustion will never beat out his need to be prepared, especially since it isn’t just his safety on the line, but it will prevent him from keeping watch all night as he intended to. ]
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Date: 2024-07-24 04:15 am (UTC)H-Hey, I was gentle! [ But there's a laugh under his protest. He can't even begin to think of Michael being truly angry with anything or anyone, even though perhaps it should have occurred to him given... everything. Maybe even a little angry at him he would have understood, but with how Michael has reacted to some of the things he's said since they woke, he keeps it to himself.
Michael might turn away to hide his 'stare', but Lucifer leans over to kiss a crimson cheek spot. ] It should not be long. If we spread our wings as much as we can, it should taken even less time. [ A suggestion he takes action on by moving up and across the bed, laying down on his stomach and fussing with his wings. It's difficult, both in the physical sense while the muscles to move them heal, but more in the psychological sense. Seeing his beautiful wings turned nearly the same color as the ash outside and a dark crimson... stained.
As he stares at the red along his wings, it makes him think of a time in Eden. Adam had been curled up with several animals around him, chatting with them as if they would respond to him. Lucifer had watched from afar for a while, just enjoying getting to see Adam look so happy, laughing as two of the critters chased one another up over his back and onto his head. However, just as Luci had flown up to go and join his human friend, he saw one of the grey animals with their long tails leap from the top of Adam's head onto his thigh and scramble, one of his claws leaving a mark behind on the otherwise flawless skin. That had been how Lucifer discovered that the humans bled red, unlike himself and his fellow angels. It hadn't hurt Adam - nothing in the Garden ever felt pain or discomfort, after all - but it had stuck with him ever since.
...and now his wings are stained the color of human blood. A punishment to remind him forever more of what he had done to three of the people he loved the most.
For Michael, he would hear Lucifer go quiet after a good bit of wing shuffling, leaving only his brother's slow breathing to be heard. Otherwise, even the sound of the water outside doesn't penetrate in here, leaving a heavy silence in the now-enclosed room. ]
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Date: 2024-07-24 05:50 am (UTC)That was gentle. [ it is no secret that Michael’s strength is leagues above the rest, it is expected of him as his sword. if he truly wanted to cause him pain, he had the means at his disposal to do so. anyone else would have easily found themselves in a chokehold by now while he smiled down at them and waited for them to repent—albeit playfully. but when you are one of the first angels people tend to gossip and make you a larger than life figure.
the kiss to his cheek has him looking in his direction and smiling, reaching a hand out in an attempt to tame his hair as well. ]
I am not concerned about how long it takes, I just want to make sure that you—we—settle in comfortably. [ he makes sure to include himself so Lucifer doesn’t think he is trying to shoulder too much. ] I can hear how tired you are in your voice. I have.. always known what can and cannot harm us, not knowing is simply bothering me. After we sleep, I am certain we will both be in better spirits.
[ it is so quiet following the shuffling that he thinks he might have fallen asleep, so he reaches over to rest a comforting hand against his hair only to feel him shift—he is not asleep. rather than sprawl his own wings out, he carefully rests on his side and gets as close to him as he possibly can before dragging a claw through his hair, the tips gingerly itching at his scalp. ]
I worry when you are this quiet, it means you are either up to no good or you are in need of advice. Which is it? If we are going to reside here together then we need to be united, let there be no secrets between us.
Talk to me, Lucifer. [ his tone is soft and soothing, never demanding. ]
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Date: 2024-07-26 02:10 pm (UTC)[ Michael coming in to cuddling distance makes Lucifer shift enough to wriggle in even that much closer, his eyes closing. There is a rare sort of bliss like the one of someone else tenderly using their
nailsclaws on your scalp, and he feels almost like producing a sound at that joy. ...He makes a little mental note for a new animal. One that makes a sound when pet like this, a happy sound. Oh, it should make the person doing the petting happy, too! It should be soft so it will be worth petting. It could be small enough to be held... cute... mhmm... the rest he could turn over later. He never forgets a new creation once he begins the process in his head.It's easier than thinking about his humans. ...He shouldn't call them his. They aren't, anymore. They never will be again. ]
...just thinking. [ He says quietly, into the space between them. ] All of my thoughts seem extra loud, with how quiet it is. In the morning, when we have created our defenses, I want to create a mirror to look at myself properly. I know I will not like it, but if this is what I'll be forever, I want to know. My wings- both of our wings- are stained red. The same color as humans when they bleed. I saw Adam bleed just once, and now... it will be there forever. [ Reaching out to his brother, his finger idly starts to trace the muscles of his arm, down to the golden stain at his chest. Stained the color of human blood, stained the color of their own blood.
Looking just ahead of him, Lucifer's tired eyes focus to create what Michael had asked of him. A small stone vessel with a cap and within it, he thinks of a salve. One thick enough that it will remain where smeared, but it won't gum up their feathers. It will produce a gentle heat for the aching muscles and encourage them to heal. By the morning, they would both know if their angelic healing has been lost forever in the Fall.
All he knows is Heaven and Eden, so he decides to create a new scent all together. A bit spicy on the nose, but pleasant. The scent will relax as well. A touch of the scent of the bark of trees, the smell of bright sun warming a field of grass, and because it's his choice, the familiar smell of Michael when he's returned home from training.
Reaching out, he grasps the vessel and takes off the lid, breathing it in. To him, it smells wonderful. ]
The salve you wanted.
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Date: 2024-07-26 03:18 pm (UTC)[ his expression goes through several stages, from amusement at Lucifer’s antics to hesitation and finally to pensive. there is a deep-seated worry there, that he might scare him when he finally sees him at his worst. Lucifer is so full of kindness and love, what will he do when faced with him protecting the only thing he has here? should anyone or anything come for his brother, the retribution will be swift and brutal.
to pull himself back into the present, he tugs on a lock of his brother’s hair and draws it up so he can press a kiss to it. that will hardly be a ward or protection for him, but it is a start. he lingers, finally pushing his hair aside so he can press a kiss to his forehead. ]
A worthy compromise. However, should you let it grow too long, you will surely trip over it. You know I’m right. [ his humor slips back into the picture as he ruffles his hair. ] I will have to braid it so extensively that your hair will weigh more than your head.. and that is a feat. But! [ before he can protest, he cuts in again. ] I will grow it out.
[ all according to plan, he can feel the way he melts against his hand and that is enough for him to continue kneading at his hair. it seems like such a minute comfort in the grand scheme of things but if it helps him right now? he will keep it up throughout the night if he has to, or at least until he falls asleep. ] Your thoughts seem loud because you are loud, once things start coming together the silence will be drowned out by your creations. This unease won’t last forever, that much I can promise you.
[ at the mention of the mirror he frowns. ] Are you sure that is wise? I understand wanting to know, and I will not stop you, but it will only bring you more pain. The silence is a jarring sentiment in itself, I don’t want you to take on more than you can handle. Pace yourself. As for the color of our wings.. [ he hums, letting his hand dip from Lucifer’s hair to his cheek. ]
A beautiful sunset can also feature the color red and, as it is felt from the heart, can passion also not be associated with it? You can think about blood every time you see them or you can be reminded that you passionately tried to protect the ones you love, knowing that what they were experiencing was wrong. It isn’t a sinful stain, Lucifer, it marks you as one of the few willing to take a stand against injustice.
They, and you, are beautiful. Never let another soul dictate otherwise. [ the smell of the salve catches his attention and actually pulls a smile out of him. the source is easy enough to find, so he reaches out and dips his fingers into the salve before sitting up and rubbing it between both hands to warm it up. if his own skin is any indication, they are dry enough to begin applying it, so he starts at Lucifer’s shoulders and works his down to his back, fingers attempting to knead away any tightness he feels. ]
Of all the scents.. [ he teases. ]
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Date: 2024-07-29 12:05 am (UTC)...I can't hide from myself forever. [ The quietest whisper, giving away that he knows it will bring him more pain. He's almost terrified of what he's going to find, but not knowing keeps building up higher and higher his imagination until he either will see anything but the truth when he finally looks, or he'll never be able to look at all.
But Michael's words about sunsets and passion do give him something to think about. As Michael starts to work into the muscles of his back, he'll feel the tiny twitches of muscles trying to respond, to control the wings that are as naturally apart of their being as their hands or legs. The instinct to want to curl his wings around him in a self-soothing gesture, but there's too little motion from them to do anything. Everything is tight, and yet at the same time, too loose. The damage will take time to heal. ]
It's all scents I like! [ Lucifer quietly protests, looking over his shoulder with a pout. ] I can make another that smells different, if you want.
[ But he settles himself back forward, going quiet as he sits there beneath his brother's ministrations. His eyes slowly start to close as Michael works in the warming salve, the physical massage helping just as much as the medicine. His lids finally close entirely, his breathing evening out as he slumps forward by degrees.
The exhausted fallen is finally having the most emotionally and physically demanding day of his life catching up to him. ]
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Date: 2024-07-30 04:50 pm (UTC)No, but rushing it could make it worse. You have plenty of time, looking in a mirror now will destroy any confidence that you have built up since we arrived. Pace yourself, Lucifer, and take the time to get accustomed to our surroundings before your progress is regressed. I would never make the choice for you, but I do want you to think about it first.
[ with Lucifer facing away from him, he doesn’t see the minute shifts in his expression as his fingers find all of the evidence. he could rattle off everything that he finds but, as he seems as relaxed as possible here, he tucks the prognosis away for a later day. he can do little for the lax muscles but redoubles his efforts to work the soreness that surrounds them out. ]
That will not be necessary, if you like them then I will wear them with pride. [ ointments are intended to smell badly, he thinks, to remind the injured person not to act recklessly again. he is about to speak up again when he feels him slump forward. any semblance of rest is beneficial, even if it only lasts a few minutes, so he lets him do just that.
unfortunately, the silence gives him time to think and thus dwell on the possibilities. before he can stop himself, he thinks about what would have happened if Lucifer ended up here by himself. undoubtedly, he would still be half buried in the ash, wrapping his arms around himself as that would be the only comfort he could be afforded. he can practically hear him pleading for forgiveness and help between broken sob—and Father likely wouldn’t be the first name he sobbed out. ]
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Date: 2024-07-30 06:40 pm (UTC)A gasping, ashen monster laying in the grey, his mind shattering in the silence only broken by his breathing and broken sobs. There would have been no one to pull him from spiraling thoughts and so they would have dug in deep their claws, tugging sanity from his soul like crows on carrion until it was lost. Without care given to those dragging wings, without cleaning the piercing wounds, they would never be white again, perhaps never heal properly. The constant drag would destroy them, leaving the lowest set to be nothing but bone, the middle to have ugly, rotten, clinging feathers, and only the upper to give semblance that they had once been wings, laying in a foul cloak down his back and only protected by the mess that had been the other two sets.
Would a mind so broken know to scrub the ash from its flesh, or would it become simply the same color as the landscape it found itself a part of, with only the blackened parts to break up the skin along with the swollen red eyes? Eyes that carried nothing of the innocent angel that had loved too much and instead were those of an animal, ready to lash out with tooth and claw and tail to defend itself.
And what would an animal do, when the first souls began to arrive in Hell? What any animal would do - it would hunt and it would eat.
Hell would be an endless plane of black and ash, with endless footprints and small, terrified huddles of souls together, finding something in the company of others but far more breaking apart like the thing named to rule over them. Yet they would fear one thing more than each other, and that would be the thing that hunted from the darkness and struck without a sound, the silence only broken by the scream of its victim and the tearing of flesh and snapping of bone. And then, just like it came, it would be gone again to go where it could hide away.
Perhaps a den made of bone and cemented by ashes mixed with blood - both golden and crimson - not even tall enough for the creature to stand upright, but that hardly matters when it doesn't any longer with the weight of lies on its back. A wild matting of grey hair tangled into bone appendages that come out of its back like spider legs, growing down its sides and over itself. A self-grown blanket to keep itself warm in a place endlessly cold.
The only light it knows is that from its own glowing eyes, with no vestiges of sanity or humanity in the crimson slits. Everything has been taken from it, and the only thing it has is to witness the worst of all humanity had been and ever would be, and to feed its skeletal body with their blood and flesh and sins.
The Eyes no longer watch it from the darkness. They don't need to. After all, it has become the same endless madness and darkness that gives them existence.
When had Michael crossed the line between his darkening thoughts and nightmare plagued sleep? ]
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Date: 2024-07-30 08:59 pm (UTC)no. far from it.
the only thing reflected back at him is a sense of duty and the familiar glow of the holy fire that coats his blade. he has dropped down from his perch as he did before but now the guards flank him without being asked to. if Lucifer looks especially closely at the angels looking down at him, he may even see a familiar silhouette—Father, watching the proceedings unfold from just out of sight. He never utters a single word but the disappointment is palpable. ]
You know what you have done, Lucifer, tears only hinder you now. Will you fight against what is coming or shy away like a child? [ he isn’t taking cues from anyone, the power behind his voice is his own. ] To disobey Father is to disobey Heaven, which you no longer have a place in. You are forcing my hand.
[ The Sword marches forward, the guard a few steps behind him as they circle around Lucifer to keep him from finding an opening to flee. once surrounded, Michael steps forward and points his sword at him, the blade practically humming as it comes to life. ]
Do you believe yourself to be on par with God? Your reasoning does not matter and nothing will save you from being casted out, but I will give you a chance to say something. You can tell me why or you can remain silent, either way it will be the last of your words spoken within these walls.
Make your choice.
[ time acts differently in the land of the dreaming, because not only does he have to witness Lucifer losing his voice, but he also has to watch the madness consume him mind, body and soul. what took millennia to achieve plays out in less than ten minutes for him, and what he sees is likely to plague his nightmares for years to come.
he is standing there beside him not in the demonic body he possesses now but the angelic one he had before, the hem of his robes stained through with ash. he tries, he tries so damn hard to cover him with all six of his pristine wings, to shield him from the evil that has tainted his grace. ]
Lucifer, no, I came with you. I Fell with you, you were never alone! Please, come back to me.
[ no, no, no—it would never come to pass, he made sure of it the moment he stepped in front of him and chose to share his punishment. it must be this place, a final attempt to break them down and quash any form of rebellion that might have spawned from their anger. lost amidst his rationalizations, he somehow doesn’t hear the creature his brother has become approach, not until a clawed hand bites into his shoulder and a voice that hisses like hot water in a pan finds his ear. ]
M̵̧̳͕̫͖͎͙̜̹̆ì̴̡̢͖̘̞̲̤̣̈́̀͝͝ć̴̛̼̖͓̻̬̻̥̘̎̔͌̈́͘͜͝ͅḩ̵̮͉̪̪̈́̀͘ạ̶̟̳̉̆͌̿̈́̃͝e̸̛̱̜͙͊̒l̸̜̯̻̘͒̕—
[ gone is the sweet natured brother, this version of him has forgotten what kindness can be. it never speaks another word to him but a series of growls and grunts show him that it is trying to, maybe he can still save him from this fate. with their healing capabilities, he never should have been rendered to this state, which delivers a heartbreaking truth—he is well and truly gone, and the only way he can save him is by ending his suffering.
he has to kill him.
pressing his lips into a thin line, he can’t stop the tears that begin to well up in his eyes, even knowing this is the kindest thing he can do for him. he can still see that smiling face in his mind and, as if to give a form to his pain, the flames creeping up his blade dim. ]
Please, do not make me do this..
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Date: 2024-07-30 10:31 pm (UTC)I didn't mean to do- you know I would never hurt them on purpose! I love them... I love you. [ All he can do is stare at his brother, the blade pointed at him not a true threat because in his heart, he believes utterly that Michael would never harm him. His brother who has always protected him, who loves him. This can't be happening. It must be a test, something to teach him a lesson. So his voice, scratching slightly from his panicked screams, is quiet and for Michael alone, no matter how many can hear him. ]
Michael. ...please. Please. I love you. [ He reaches out towards his brother, imploring, needing. ] I don't want to be alone. [ His voice cracks on the final word, fingers outstretched. ]
[ The demon that had once been an angel looks at the angel that had always been its brother, breathing with ugly sounding wheezes from a ruined voice box. The bare bones of what were once wings lift, flex. The fur- hair draped upon them almost mimicking what had once been. Claws, thick, curved, overgrown things dig into the ash that it was nearly a part of, and it stares without fear of the blade. Is it accepting its fate, or does it no longer possess the intelligence to know the weapon is a threat?
Either way it sits there, a small creature feared by the denizens of what is truly a hell beyond imaging, and it waits. It has nothing but time, endless time, endless punishment. A beast not forgotten by God but worse, condemned by Him.
But it had said Michael's name. Some small part of it knew. A bond so deep that even time and the most horrific madness could not fully part them. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-07-31 01:21 am (UTC)[ Lucifer is dead, he chose the humans over him, chose to go behind his back to defy what they stand for. he never spoke to him of his plans, he didn’t trust him enough to let him in, and now he has to pay the price. when the guards step forward and aim their weapons, Michael raises a hand to stop them. ]
Stand down. He did not confide in me but he still wears my brother’s face, I will be the one to enact his judgment. It is my parting gift, to let you see a familiar face rather than one unknown to you.
[ his outstretched hand is greeted not by a warm embrace but by the cold steel in his grip that will keep him from reaching him. ]
You claim to love me but could not trust me with the knowledge of your plan, when I would tell you all and more. I was your reflection and you were mine, Lucifer, now you are my greatest shame.
[ when the guard begins to back away, Michael advances forward until the point of his sword nudges against Lucifer’s robes. at the last second the flames trickle away from the tip and he uses the momentum to begin ushering him backwards. if he does not move with him, then the blade will cut him. he is done asking questions. ]
With your sins to accompany you, you will never truly be alone. But remember this, everything that happened today was put into motion by you the moment you made your choice. I did not turn my back on you, you turned yours on me.
[ his fingers grip the hilt of his sword so tightly that the ornate handle bites into flesh, sending a trickle of gold rolling into the ash at his feet. ]
I love you more than any being could ever love. Look at me, Lucifer. If you can hear me, if you understand anything I have said, then look at me. Give me a sign that I am making the right choice.
[ his mind fully made up, the holy flames erupt out of his sword and flicker in the dark to light up the area around them. even now, lost within this nightmare, he can visualize him and Lucifer arriving here together and raising the spirits of one another. from the sobs and pain to the laughter they shared within the tub.
it should have been enough to save him, so why did it have to come to this? why was he allowed to join him if he was going to have to end his life at a later time? the answer is glaringly obvious to him in a moment of anger: Father. even here He moves them about like marionettes, idly observing their torment so that He will learn from this mistake.
but they are not mistakes, they feel and hurt more deeply than He ever could. perhaps that is why they are here now, because he wishes to study misery. before his rage can boil over, he carefully searches those red eyes and draws a hand to touch the side of his monstrous face gently. ]
I can end this suffering, you will finally be able to sleep again. No more darkness, no more pain, no more screams—just a pleasant sleep. When you wake, this will all have been a nightmare and I will be there to greet you.
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