The Low Hanging Fruit [for ontheair/thelittleapple]

[thisducks]

continuation from this bakerstreet meme

[ And Alastor lands on the thing that Lucifer has wanted to do, again and again. It feeds into his beliefs, the endless shadows and demons that speak whispers into his thoughts, the plague of Humanity's evils that his fellow angels had cursed him to always know.

But then his daughter had held out her hand, telling him her lofty dream, golden and bright, and asked him to believe in it. All he wants is to support her, to make the only thing he ever made that he could be proud of shine as brightly as she can. It just... doesn't stop the reality of his life. ]

Leaving would hurt her more. Being here brings my name to the hotel. [ For all that he's certain he doesn't quite live up to said name, he does as well as he can. More so, it's not really the truth.

He's scared they'll come for her. With Adam's attempt on Charlie's life, the Accord he set with Heaven is broken- the Hellborn are no longer safe.

Nothing, not even himself, will stop him from defending her. She is worth everything to him. More than anything. ]

Comments

[thelittleapple]

[When she had barged into his room in the hotel and found him gone, left, it... was no longer possible for her to hold back at that point. Even if the palace is somewhere she has avoided for a long time, its hallways holding nothing but the echo of pain to her now.

The look on his face, accompanied by the anxious tired look in his eyes, brings words to her lips before she can truly think them through. A gift of her mother's to hell, her songs that helped them all speak when traditional words ran dry.]

♫ No matter what, time moves on
and there's no getting back what's already gone.
So why is it that you're withdrawn
when we should be moving to a brand new dawn?

I'm sick of you using important business
as an excuse to cover up your sickness.
Do you really think that I can't witness
this distance between us, this pain, this stillness.

I'm not a baby anymore, I'm a woman grown!
You don't need to hide on your solitary throne
pretending you're not hurt down to the bone!♫

[And then her voice softens, trembling and sad.]

♫ Please... don't leave me... all alone.
Again.♫

[Her voice cracks completely on the last word, and tears spill despite her best efforts to keep them back. She rubs the heel of her hand over her face to dash them away, smearing blood and tears together where the cut on her face had opened again with the action.

Song done, music over, the silence that falls is deafening.]

I had to go back and watch ep 8 to see if we see what color Charlie's blood is. XD

[thisducks]

[ Father and daughter stand there in the silence, Lucifer's fingers clasped around the doorknob, only the faint echo of music drifting to die in the pregnant pause.

There is the instant reaction to seeing the crimson smeared across his daughter's face is concern edged in panic, the need to reach up and heal any hurt she has, followed by the darker sensation of anger and protectiveness that comes with his existence as well as being a father - WHO HURT HER? - but both of those pale to the flood of guilt that courses through him in the wake of her tears.

The idea of him being the one to hurt Charlie hurts more than anything. ]

...Charlie... [ His hand finally reaches up to touch her face, as gentle as if she is still the newborn in his arms. ] I... I'm sorry... [ The words come, and they do come truthfully, but they can't explain any of it. All the pain inside that comes from long before Charlie had even been a dream, a family and a past she only knew the story of but not the truth. Not... all of it. ]

[thelittleapple]

[For just a moment she leans into his touch, eyes closing; the part of her that's still a hurt child wanting her parents to love her wants to stay there, accept his apology, and give him a hug. It would be easy to do, but it wouldn't help. Not really. It wouldn't dig to the root of whatever this is, it wouldn't stop the cycle repeating.]

No, Dad.

[The refusal is soft as she takes a half step back, eyes lowering to the ground and arms wrapped around herself.]

I don't want you to apologise, I want-- I want you to let me in.

[thisducks]

[ His hand falls away limp at his side as Charlie pulls away from him, unable to hide the agony her action causes him like a wound through the chest. It shows in the gape of his mouth, the sorrow in the faintest lines that edge around his eyes that widen then fall nearly closed.

He looks away, then whispers quietly- ] Come in. [ Stepping back away, other hand falling from the door as he turns back in to his grief cave. All at once, letting her in physically but in part, emotionally. The malaise is thick in the air already, but it's nearly a literal darkness around the fallen angel as he goes and sits down on one of the couches in the large sitting room that connects back into the bedroom.

Everything within had been scaled to fit Lilith's needs over his own, which only makes him seem that much smaller as he tucks his hands into his lap and stares down at them. It's very clear that no one other than himself has been there in all those years - this room isn't as bad as the others, but it's enough to see that he hasn't let any previous member of staff come and clean, only his own haphazard methods that generally gave up on keeping things tidy long ago. Thankfully it isn't a foul cesspit, just... messy. Dusty. Lonely. ]

[thelittleapple]

[She doesn't want to hurt him any more than he wants to hurt her, and the look in his eyes when she steps back makes her feel like she's been punched in the chest by someone much stronger than Adam had been.

But she doesn't take her words back.

The room looks smaller than she remembers, despite it being sized for her mother's proportions, perhaps because of how much she's grown since she last saw them. Everywhere is evidence of the darkness inside her father, the sorrow that she's always felt at his jagged edges but never fully understood.

Instead of sitting beside him, she kneels on the floor at his feet so she can look up into his face, stretching her hands out to cover his own tenderly.]

I want to understand.

[It's hard to be this openly vulnerable, she usually covers her own emotional issues with helping others, but to help in this case-- well, she may need to be more open than usual.]

I love you so much, Dad. I'm not... angry you need time for yourself, but this-- I'm not stupid, I can tell you're hurt, and I want you to talk to me and let me help you. Isn't that what family is supposed to do?

[thisducks]

[ He's modified much of it over the years, none of it consciously. The chairs and couches have pillows or blankets that make them less deep, tables that rest against other tables one shorter, one taller. The little details of someone who existed, even if some might not call it living.

When Charlie sits at his feet, it brings to life a toddler, reaching up to touch his hands with eyes of wonder, but in the next blink he sees his adult daughter, her eyes full of pain and love instead. It's harder than he could dream to meet those eyes, knowing it isn't her needing his help but asking to give hers instead. He's supposed to be her father, strong and sure, capable of handling his own problems and past- but he's never successfully reconciled that with before.

Leading to this. ]

You know I love you, always. [ There is that tone on 'always', one that nearly makes it a question - and you know that, right? ] I... I just didn't... [ He breathes out, finally looking away again as he can't look at her open pain. ]

I know... what I'm like. I can be someone else, whatever I need to be, but like a bit of transformation... it doesn't change reality. [ His one hand comes up to touch at the center of his chest, then lightly balls into a fist. ] There's not always a way to fix things, Charlie.

[thelittleapple]

[She spent a lot of her life quite naïve and sheltered, she still is in some ways, but her experiences with the hotel have taught her a few valuable life lessons. One is that sometimes even the most desperate want to make things better doesn't mean anything, and meddling can make things worse. She'll never not feel bad about Angel Dust, the memory of his black eye and the way Valentino threw him towards the bed after she interfered sometimes appearing in her dreams.

It doesn't stop her from wanting to passionately declare that he's wrong and she'll find a way to fix it if it's the last thing she does. Instead, she worries her lip for a few long moments, trying to find the right words.]

Do you... do you think I need you to be "fixed" to want you around?

[The question is soft. There's no accusation, her anger has faded completely now, there's only curiosity and concern. She wants to understand.]

[thisducks]

To want me around? ...No. But you want that someone to be around. People- they expect things. Even if they don't realize it, unconsciously, they expect things out of- [ he tosses up a hand, flicking his palm about as he rolls his eyes- ] Hell's King, it's Ruler, the head honcho himself!

[ His hand falls back down to his lap, his gaze briefly looking towards Charlie before away again. It's more than he's told anyone in... well, ever, really. Lilith had always just sort of known it of him, sometimes to her disappoint, he knows. (A fact he has run through his mind again and again in repeating loops.) ]

What you need to be successful with the hotel just... might not be want you want, not if it's a distraction.

[thelittleapple]

[She opens her mouth to protest that she doesn't expect anything of him, not as Hell's ruler, but... isn't that why she had originally called him? To ask him to use his clout as King to get her a meeting? She feels her stomach twist guiltily, struggling to find the right words.

In the end, she settles for shuffling forwards on her knees so she can lean against his legs, offering her warmth and the weight of her affection physically.]

Dad, I--

[She frowns, wishing Vaggie were here, she's always better at cutting to the heart of things and making sense of what Charlie is trying to say.]

I don't care if you never lift a finger at the hotel again, it's... you're not a distraction, you could never be a distraction. You're my Dad, I love you, and... and that means I don't just want you with me when you can offer something or you're in a good place, it means I want to be there for you when you're not too. I want to listen when you're sad, and help when the burden gets too heavy to carry alone. I want to help you put it down and rest, and be there until you're ready to pick it up again.

[She's rambling, isn't she? Damn it.

There's the tiniest of pauses, and then the softest of musical refrains, just a tiny reprise from the heart.]

🎵More than anything
More than anything
I'm grateful you're my father more than anything🎵

[thisducks]

[ How can a heart feel like it's breaking at the same time it feels fuller than it can remember in so long?

Lucifer doesn't have words at first, listening in silence to her proclamation, but it's the softness of her song that pulls his hands forward to gently cradle the back of her head, to bend over and tuck their heads together. ]

I want you to be happy. [ A soft whisper into that space between them. ] That's all I've ever wanted for you. ...There's just so much... so much you don't know. That you shouldn't- shouldn't have to know. Life should be so much simpler for you- than it... became for me.

[ There had been a time when it was simple. When he was simple, too. ...Then he had dared to ask why, and that had been all it took to ruin everything.

And now, here is Charlie... asking Heaven why all over again. Like father, like daughter. ]

[thelittleapple]

[This is the first time she can remember, even though she outgrew him so long ago, where she's really felt as if her Dad is smaller than her. It aches, his words both comforting and painful.]

Happiness isn't simple.

[She saw evidence of that all around her all of the time now. The happiness hard fought for by Angel Dust by letting his guard down, the joy of holding Vaggie while they slept after a day of hardships. And even in Heaven, Sera trying to protect Emily through ignorance.

There's so much that you don't know.

A sentiment echoed now by her Dad; and just like Emily, she doesn't want that. She doesn't want to be protected in a way that hurts those around her.]

And life-- life isn't always going to be happy or simple, but it shouldn't be. Because that's not real. You're right, there's a lot I don't know or understand, but I hope you'll start to tell me and teach me. [She pulls back from where their foreheads were touching, eyes bright with fervent determination.] I can't promise it won't be hard, or that we both might not get upset, or even that things might get worse instead of better sometimes... but I will promise you that despite all of that, I'll be happier fighting these things with you, than I ever would be alone.

[Please, just... don't leave her behind again.]

[thisducks]

You... really want that? [ His precious Charlie. She is so strong, stronger than he could have ever imagined or dared to hope, and it fills a part of him with something difficult to name. A cup that had been empty, but Charlie gives of herself to make sure it isn't. It's what happens when she's given so much of herself that she no longer has anymore to give that he fears so much. ]

You have such a beautiful way of looking at life, one... we don't find down here. It reminds me so m- ... you make people believe, even when there's no hope. You bring out the good in people.

[ Lucifer pulls his head back enough that he can properly look her in the eyes, his own trying to show he means what he says, every word of it, no matter his current mental state or mood. ]

I believe in your dream, Charlie. I do, ever since you and your friends showed me I was wrong. I... I wanted, want, you to understand that... it's not all sunshine and rainbows up there. You have this hope of redemption that's so set on Heaven and it's- that doesn't mean it's a good place.

...I don't want your dream to shatter knowing that, either.

[thelittleapple]

[Believe her, even in her short dealings with Heaven, she could hardly be unaware that it has problems too. But... it's safe. Safe for souls, anyway. Those that get redeemed will be able to live in comfort and peace, not having to fear being wiped out for the mere crime of existing in the wrong afterlife.]

It's something to strive for, for the people that come to the hotel. Heaven is... it's a place they can go and be looked after, not have to make deals with their souls or worry about being slaughtered every six months. And even if it takes a long time to get there, working towards it can help make here a better place.

[Her hotel has already given them all a family and sense of comraderie, it's created happiness where there had been hopelessness. So maybe redemption doesn't just mean going to Heaven, it can mean improving Hell as well.]

I know you're worried about me, Dad, but nothing is going to stop me seeing this through. I learned how to dream from you... so if I bring out the good in anyone, it's because you brought it out in me first.

Quick tag from the con! <3

[thisducks]

You've always been good, Charlie! From the moment you were born, I held you in my arms, I knew you were a good in this world. In- In my world. My little dreamer.

[ While his smile may be sad at its edges, there is still a smile. Taking a slow breath in, Lucifer finally sits back into the couch and rubs at his own temple thoughtfully, debating. ]

If you're sure you want me there, Charlie- and you're sure it won't wear on you when I can't be... actively involved- [ A delicate way to put it, even though there is still a thread of shame tinging those words. ] I'll return. We can... perhaps we can come up with a system, texting- so you can let me know when you really need me?

huhu <3

[thelittleapple]

[She hopes he's right and that she is a force for good in this world, she wants nothing more than to help Hell become more than what most people think it has to be. There's a lot of potential, no Sinner is all evil, and they just need the better parts of themselves to be encouraged to flourish.]

Of course I want you there, Dad. I'd want you there even if you were never actively involved in the hotel.

[Shifting to sit beside him on the couch, she leans to rest her head on his shoulder affectionately.]

If you think texting will work, we can do that, but not just when I need you. Promise me you'll use it when you need me too-- when you're feeling like you need to retreat for a while, let me in so the darkness doesn't swallow you. We can watch movies together, or eat ice cream, or just sit in our pyjamas if that's what you need... I just don't want you to suffer alone. I don't want either of us to struggle alone again.

[A moment's pause, before she realises that might sound like she's putting more pressure on him again.]

Of course, if you need a-- a break from me too, that's... I understand, and I-- But if you do? Will you tell me yourself, I promise I won't get mad, just don't send a message through someone else again.

[That had hurt, being told second-hand by Alastor that Lucifer hadn't wanted to see her. She still doesn't see it for the manipulative lie that it was, working on both of them to separate them so he has the reins.]

Re: huhu <3

[thisducks]

[ In that, Lucifer still disagrees with his daughter. There are some sinners... there is no saving them. He's spent ten thousand years and then some learning how disgusting the depravity of humanity can be. What has changed is that now, he believes there maybe some worth trying to save. That there's something in them that can be encouraged to be better.

Some of them however, he knows, there's nothing but darkness. ]

I can promise to try, sweetie. I'd promise for certain but... I don't want to break another promise to you when I don't know how well I can keep it. But- I can try. ...If that's enough.

[ But what she says last leaves Lucifer confused, his brows pinching together. ]

Wait- what do you mean 'send a message through someone else'?

[thelittleapple]

[She wants to tell him that as long as he's trying, anything he does will be good enough, and they'll work it out together. But his confusion cuts her off at the knees and brings a mirroring frown to her own brow in return.]

Alastor said you didn't want to be disturbed or see anyone... even-- even me.

[She bites her lip for a second, before rushing on in case he thinks that she's angry at him for it.]

And that's okay! Really! I tried to give you space, but I just-- today was--

[--hard. Today SUCKED and she just wanted her Dad to not be absent. She touches the cut on her cheek absently as she tails off, before forcing a little smile.]

Sorry I burst in on you.

[thisducks]

I- he what now?

[ Realization starts to come into Lucifer's eyes, then it rapidly begins to turn over into a growing anger as his fingers clench tightly against one another. ]

That is not what I said to him-!

[ Wait. Wait! She's hurt! The anger- for a moment- disappates as he brings up his fingers and gently cradles her cheek. ] Charlie, what happened? Who hurt you?

[ Said with the same energy as 'who do I have to murder?' A bit of golden light blooms at his fingertips, caressing across the cut. A matching hint of light appears on his own cheek in the same shape as the wound, but as he focuses her own disappears before his does as well. ]

[thelittleapple]

[...oh.

She just stares wide-eyed for a moment at the golden light that slashes across his cheek and disappears as soon as it appeared, her fingertips touching unblemished skin where she had been cut only a second before. Sometimes, despite everything, he still amazes her with what he can do.

But she waves off the question as unimportant-- it's not like she was grievously wounded, it was just a cut, and she thinks maybe the Alastor thing is more important.]

You didn't tell Alastor that?

[Confusion, and just a bit of hurt, before she scrambles for an explanation.]

What did you say? Maybe... maybe he misunderstood?

[thisducks]

[ His hand pulls away only once he's certain that the cut is entirely gone, but the hand grips tight into a fist as he thinks back to their conversation. His nostrils flare as he says tightly- ]

He was supposed to tell you that you could come to me any time you needed me. This wasn't a misunderstanding.

[ Bless her ability to believe the best in anyone, but this only sealed in his mind that there is nothing good in that demon. ]

I should have told you myself. [ But that anger trembles in his voice, in the flare of fire in his eyes. ]

[thelittleapple]

[...yeah, that's not a misunderstanding, and not even she can pretend that it is. Not when she knows Alastor is smarter than that, and the animosity between the two of them... still, it hurts a bit to have been caught in the crossfire.]

It doesn't matter.

[One arm crosses over her stomach so she can hold the other, pulling a smile to her lips.]

We've got it sorted out now, there's no need to escalate it further, right?

[thisducks]

There won't need to be when I'm done with him!

[ This is angry Lucifer. Not annoyed, not being petty, not ruffled feathers, but truly angry. The edges of horns threaten over his brow, his teeth baring. ]

How DARE he... that pretentious piece of shit..!

[thelittleapple]

Dad!

[She catches his arm, frowning. Not at him, exactly, at the situation. She wants to mediate, but she's learned from her experiences that sometimes people need to work their own problems out.]

I'm not going to tell you not to be angry or not to talk to Alastor, conflict resolution is an important part of growing as people, but don't hurt each other. Please. You're both important to me, so-- maybe this could be your chance to find a way to work past your differences?

[thisducks]

[ If he has a choice right now, he IS going to work out his problems with Alastor- with a fist in his face. ]

Excuse me? Charlie, he lied to you on purpose! This isn't a difference we need to work out, this is a fundamental problem in that asshole's brain! Your other little friends- there's a good part in them, and they've even managed to show it- but time and time again all I see is everything that's wrong about sinners practically shining like a neon sign right above his head!

[thelittleapple]

There is good in him, I know there is.

[It's a lot harder to find than in some others, and sometimes she finds herself struggling to believe, but she knows she's seen flickers of it.]

And yes, okay, he lied too. And that-- it hurts. But so did Sir Pentious when he first came to the hotel, and even Vaggie lied. It's-- it happens, and we need to give him a chance to apologise and do better.