[Crowley studied Lucifer for a moment when he returned the sentiment then sighed and sipped his tea, somewhat contented. Aziraphale beamed at the little understanding the two serpents had. His demon and this Lucifer seemed remarkably similar in many ways!]
Who knows. But it's not our place to question the design. What's important is that you are who you are and maybe the opportunity here is that you've been given some perspective on what it might look like if you were those things? A man who loves his daughter dearly and has a much bigger heart than any might think is far superior to a terrible outcast who neglects his son and wants to see the world burn. If I may be so bold, I dare say you have more in common with Crowley. [He ignored the startled sound from the demon.]
Lucifer disagreed with some of the decisions being made upstairs. He didn't like the humanity project and took it to an extreme. Which caused a chain event. Any of us that had questioned a decision made were cast out due to his extreme views. Like... cutting away all damaged tissue to remove an infection.
Oh, Crowley...
I'm alright, Angel. Just offering some insight. But maybe somehow, some of that story bled over to your reality. Maybe a soothsayer peering into the wrong crystal ball or something. Magic isn't always predictable.
You know, I wonder about that, Aziraphale. ...You say it's not our place to question the design, but is that true? I wasn't Fallen when I gave that fruit to Lilith and Eve in the Garden. I had only gone down to see what was in the Garden because I was told I wasn't allowed to be a part of the new world's creation. [ The corner of his mouth lifted, but the mirth was finite in that half-smile. ]
I don't know what you were previously, Crowley, but my gift is creation. [ Lucifer gave a little bitter laugh. ] The angel of Creation, the lone soul who wasn't allowed to be involved in the creation of the new world and its inhabitants.
[ In the wake of his words, he shrugged. ] Meeting you, hearing our stories are not so different? Now I wonder... if that's exactly what we were supposed to do in His- Her- impossible to understand plan.
[ With a showmanistic gesture of a hand and a beautiful flare of golden magic, the tabletop changed. Before all three of them laid a large meal, each of them with something specific to them. Lucifer's best guess at what they would appreciate. A lovely triple stand in front of Aziraphale with scones and clotted cream on one level, macaroons on another, and finger sandwiches on the last. In front of Crowley, a delicious steak of unknown origin with a small pat of butter, a beautifully loaded baked potato, and vegetables. Last, before himself, an entire stack of pancakes which looked normal to him but might be odd to the others given that they're a strange blue color.
A new pot of tea for the angel - guaranteed a flavor he had never tried before, given its origin, a hand-labeled bottle of scotch for the demon, and bless he needed some coffee if he was going to remain awake for the rest of the day. ]
[Crowley groaned dramatically and threw an arm over his eyes, leaning back in the chair.] You're insufferable.
But I believe everything happens for a reason. Your Fall, Crowley's Fall. They were all part of Her Plan.
And I think it's a load of bollix! If it was pre-planned, why punish us for something She wanted to happen? That free-fall wasn't fun! Burning everything holy from my being, scorching my wings in boiling sulphur? That wasn't--! [He cut himself off when he felt Aziraphale's mounting anxiety. This was clearly a sore spot between them and wasn't something they had resolved. Neither was it something Crowley seemed to have come to terms with.
The showy gesture from Lucifer helped to pull their minds from the old argument as they both watched. Crowley lifted both brows at the elaborate setup, very much appreciating his side of things. With a thought and a snap of his fingers, his own tea cup suddenly remembered that it was actually a scotch glass and how silly of it to think it had been a tea cup! He picked up the bottle of scotch and poured some in his glass.]
Man after my own heart.
Crowley has always been very tight-lipped about his position in Heaven before.
Because it's not important anymore. Lovely spread, by the way, Lulu. Much appreciated. I like the glitter. It's a nice touch. Makes our miracles look boring.
Oh, this is positively delightful! [The angel cooed happily and refilled his cup with the new tea then snatched up one of the sweets. Lucifer had pegged him correctly as well! Major sweet tooth, this one! He sipped the tea and hummed even more delightedly.] I quite like that! Tea from your realm?
[ Oh, well, that seemed to be an unexpected landmine in the conversation. Lucifer's brows lifted up as he glanced back and forth between the two of them, but decided to not push any further. While his Fall had been a nightmare trauma of pain, it was curious that how Crowley described his, he couldn't have said he experienced. However, there was still a mutual connection of 'exceedingly pain and a nightmare'. ]
Scotch is from my own collection. [ A little play of amusement over his lips. Then, to Aziraphale: ] It is. Specifically, from the Sloth Ring. Bel- ah, Belphagor- grows the best tea anywhere in Hell.
[ He gave a pleased shrug and picked up fork and knife and dug into the pancakes, already prepped just how he liked them. ] It seems to me regardless of where you started, where you are on the angel-demon scale, both of you have a new role as Earth's protectors. You're both something unique to either side - and from the sound of it, for the better.
[At the mention of Bel growing tea, Crowley and Aziraphale shared a glance then the demon spoke up.] Is this a hobby of theirs or are you, uh...
[With Crowley's inarticulate attempt, Aziraphale picked up the slack.] You grow your own food. Is eating required where you're from, Lucifer?
Enjoying food and drink is something we picked up in our time on Earth. The others find it disgusting to consume. [Crowley dug into the steak and vegetables quite happily. Chasing it down with a swig of the Scotch. It had unique notes he'd never tasted before, making it even more of a unique experience.
He listened and contemplated that for a moment. Then lifted his glass in a toast.]
[ When Crowley started, Lucifer raised an eyebrow at the uncertain tone, but when Aziraphale explained properly, he lit up with understanding. ] Oh! That entirely depends on who we're talking about. I don't need to eat, but can't imagine anymore not eating ever again. Once the others began creating the Hellborn, they need to eat as do most of the sinners, so it just kind of became natural to eat. Some sinners live off of... less than pleasant food sources, but they come in every imaginable form and even some you can't.
[ He taps his finger on his fork, thinking, before deciding to go with: ] I've seen some that are objects personified. Some resemble creatures. Some are just strange amalgamations of limbs, torso, and head. [ He knew how it must sound, and so he gave a little shrug to his own words. ] They just appear in Hell like that. No one, I don't even think Heaven, knows the rhyme or reason to it. I've heard that their bodies can have something to do with how they lived or died, but I haven't exactly sat down and asked a group of them to confirm if that's true or not.
[ At the suggestion of the toast, how could he have said no? Lucifer picked up his coffee and lifted it in solidarity, gesturing forward before taking a drink. ]
[Both angel and demon drank with Lucifer with the toast.
Somewhere, in another realm, Alastor feels offended.
Honestly, to these two, it doesn't sound all that odd. Well, except the objects personified thing. That was a bit... well, strange. But angel and demon forms--true forms--varied. The humanoid appearance they maintained was a bit of a relaxed view.]
Oh, that's interesting! Many demons here have reptilian and insectoid qualities! Crowley is by far one of the most mild cases, but they're almost branded in a sense... [The angel's voice trailed off when the demon self-consciously put his sunglasses back on to hide his eyes. He continued after a moment, in a much gentler tone,] ...you know I love your eyes, my dear boy.
We can pull the features back, but there will always be something visible to mark us for what we are. Even Dukes of Hell. Beelzebub and their flies, Hastur and his frogs, but I can't say I've ever seen any resembling objects. Then again, we all Fell around the same time, before the dawn of Man so such things hadn't been thought up yet.
How do you keep up with the food demand for so many sinners and the Hellborn there? I'm surprised they have to eat. ...they can't starve, can they? That would... be unpleasant. Die, end up in Hell, only to starve to death. I can't say I've experienced the sensation, but we've both lived through every famine on Earth and seen what it does to humans.
[Was that Crowley showing concern for human souls he didn't even know? Not very demonic of him.]
Huh, that's interesting. I know there are some Hellborn that can completely mask their appearance and walk among humans, most if they're skilled enough in magic but some like the incubi and succubi have it innately. When I change, there's always some part of me that remains distinct.
[ With a look to Crowley, Lucifer gave a charming smile, using some pancake on his fork to emphasize his words with a gesture. ] I agree with Aziraphale. I think the eyes are striking.
[ At the comment about starving, Lucifer winced slightly at the notion but couldn't lie to pretty it up. ] Technically, anything that can kill a human can likely kill a demon even if they're significantly sturdier, so yes they can starve to death. They'll come back from that sort of death, but I can't imagine it's any more pleasant. We have fairly significant farms on all of the Rings, and my magic is still a part of every ring of Hell, making sure they stay thriving.
Hmm. Probably something related to you both being Fallen, I would guess.
As if we need a reminder. [Crowley grumbled. But the compliment to his eyes from both of them had him flustered. Hesitantly, he reached back up and slowly pulled his shades off again. Peer-pressuring angels! He folded them and slipped them away once more.]
No, I imagine it's not... But, you're managing the souls of every corrupt human and all those Hellborn. You can only do so much, angel of creation or not. [He'd seen that wince and he wanted to wipe away any doubt Lucifer might have.] But if you've never been to the surface, you're working without a base code for most of this stuff. Must be difficult to get the flavours right when you first started supplying the rings with the seeds for crops. If there's anything you've ever wanted to taste, just name it.
[ That was a whole line of thought Lucifer wouldn't have been able to even dream of as a possibility, and it left him briefly stunned with parted lips. When he swallowed and found words again, he spoke with a sort of hushed excitement. ]
I... never thought about that. Everything in Hell started with my imagination to create food, and then as sinners began to arrive adjusting and adding more but it's always as they describe it. Only once in a blue moon do I get a chance to actually try something from the human world.
[ With a nod towards Crowley's scotch, for example. Which suggested everything else on the table was mimicking what Lucifer had guessed and figured out about flavors - well, other than Crowley's steak. But for a moment, with Lucifer's next words, there's some glimmer of the angel that had once been. It lights up inside of him with all the innocent excitement of a child. ]
[Crowley really was enjoying everything Lucifer had brought to the table for him. Even stealing one of Aziraphale's sweets with a clever flick of his wrist so it appeared on his plate from the angel's. Said angel just chuckled and did the reverse, stealing a bite of that steak right off the demon's fork. ARE THEY FLIRTING? WHO FUCKING KNOWS. But it seemed habitual as the two took it in stride.
The sheer glee in Lucifer's expression struck a deep cord in Crowley. He knew that feeling intimately. The wonder and excitement! It was bloody infectious! Making the demon smile in turn. Crowley held a hand out in the angel's direction.]
Angel, paper.
[Aziraphale fished a scrap of parchment out of his vest and gave it to the demon. Crowley held it between thumb and crooked forefinger. It was about the size of a notecard. He stood from the table, taking a step back, and unfurled his wings from the ethereal plane. Black, sleek, and perfectly groomed. Off to the side, Aziraphale gasped and covered his mouth with a hand, knowing just what Crowley was about to do and Lucifer had no idea just how much this meant coming from someone like Crowley. Someone who was so terrible vain about his wings. Crowley ran a hand over one of the wings as he brought it close until he found just what would hurt the least and not affect flight. He followed the shaft of the feather all the way to his skin and winced as he plucked the feather from his wing. He dismissed his wings back to the ethereal plane and sat back down.
He held the paper and the feather in the same hand and with a thought, the surface caught fire in a particular wiggly pattern. Then, all at once, the flames were doused as Crowley blew on the paper, leaving a charred sigil burned into it. The feather having seemingly burned away. The card hummed with power. The power of a Miracle with a distinctly Crowley flavoured magic. He held it out to Lucifer.]
I think we'll be here for a century trying things and preforming that many tiny tricks will start to turn some heads. That card is infused with my sigil and infused with a piece of me. The real me, not my corporation. That paper can't be destroyed without holy water. Think of it like a diving tether. It will let me reach you again. Just pulse it with some of your magic and I'll feel it like a pager. I should be able to pull you back here any time you send a pulse through. Well, not here here. More like... ehhh... the Sands of Time. We'll be able to have a bit of a chat, some lunch, I'm sure even the Angel will be willing to bring a book or two for you to enjoy.
[Why yes, Crowley did just give Lucifer a personal calling card to reach him so they could have more of these little meetings.]
But in the mean time, [The angel snapped his fingers and a tasting platter with a bit of apple pie, pumpkin pie, key lime pie, cherry pie, and another half dozen other bite-sized bits appeared in front of Lucifer.] let's start with that.
[ Absolutely nothing that had occurred thus far had stopped Lucifer from believing that these two were a couple. It didn't occur to him to think otherwise, given how they were with each other. Friends were one thing, but these two had a certain intimacy that he had only ever known in couples.
Lucifer tilted his head as Crowley stood up, wondering what was about to happen-
OH.
His eyes go wide in pure delight to see the stunning black wings. Only he had retained the feathery wings of an angel, though Bee and Bel had managed to retain a method of flight in different ways. ]
They're amazing! [ Aziraphale would hear Lucifer's whisper, though when he watched Crowley pluck out a feather, he winced in empathy. His gaze was heavy with curiosity as he witnessed Crowley use some of his own magic - he wouldn't have thought to call it a miracle - and when presented with the card, took it with respect and listened closely as he internally felt out the 'taste' of Crowley's magic now that it was in his hands.
It really did feel like one of his fellow Fallen.
But as Crowley finished his description of what he had so willingly given, Lucifer's eyes went wider than ever. He looked down to the piece of paper in his hand, then back up, struggling to find the words. It was an incredible gift to be given. ]
...thank you, Crowley. [ With an intense gratitude in his eyes. He tucked the card neatly into his inner breast pocket, an idea starting to take root in the back of his mind.
However, Aziraphale had excellent timing to distract him with the brilliant sight of a multitude of pies. Not the only one with a sweet tooth at this table! ]
Ahh...! You need to tell me what everything is! [ Because he was already peering with interest at every little offering, studying them and sniffing a little at the air. Oh it smelled divine! ]
Aren't they just? [Aziraphale whispered back. He may not be as particular about his own wings as Crowley was over BOTH of their wings, but he could appreciate just how well taken care of they were. And just, everything Crowley was magnificent to him.
He nodded at the thanks, feeling awkward, and was grateful for Aziraphale's timing as well.]
Start with that one. [He pointed at the little apple pie bite.] Left to right, apple pie, pumpkin pie, key lime pie, cherry pie, pecan pie, boston cream pie, strawberry rhubarb pie, blueberry pie, and peach pie!
[Crowley looked over at the pies then at the angel.] Really? Not a single English pie? I suppose with your sweet tooth, I shouldn't be surprised. [And, with a snap, another trey appeared next to the first. Similar set up, bite-sized bits, but these pies all smell savoury.]
[ Lucifer all but zoned in on the apple pie, the expression on his face an odd one. Would it taste like what he remembered...? He swallowed down before reaching out and as he brought it close, took in a slow breath, but the scent wasn't anything like what he thought it might. Had his mouth watering, though! So he popped it into his mouth, letting his eyes close as he chewed to really remember the taste and enjoy such a simple pleasure.
When he swallowed, his eyes reopened and he smacked his tongue. ]
...that. is. delicious. [ Aziraphale, what pleasures you have brought this old devil! It was all incredible - even what he liked less than others, just being able to experience them was a joy through and through. ]
Why is the lime 'key' specifically? Is it some kind of special lime?
[Both angel and demon seemed to puff up happily when Lucifer had such a delightful experience with the tasting platter. The question caught the angel off guard, but his expression lit up just as excitedly! He loved any chance he got to share knowledge! ...ironically.]
Oh! It's a named such after a particular type of lime! They're a bit more tart and quite popular on a little group of islands called the Keys!
Angel, you're drooling. [Crowley chuckled and Aziraphale brought a hand to his mouth in shock but found that he wasn't. Oh... Figure of speech. He huffed at the demon, but didn't actually look annoyed.]
That explains why the pie is tart! Interesting! [ Lucifer chuckled himself, swallowing down a bite of the more savory pies - oh, that was very good, he would need to figure out how to recreate that - before he glanced between them both. ]
If it isn't too rude to ask, how long have the two of you been together? From how you've talked about the past, it seems like it's been quite some time. I don't think such a thing has ever happened between Heaven and Hell where I'm from, so the concept is very interesting.
[Look at the proud learned pigeon! He will sit there all puffed up and happy!]
Oh! Not rude at all! I met Crowley once, before he Fell, but we've been officially meeting up for over six thousand years! Right off from Eden, I'd say! It did take me some time to warm up to him, of course, but once I came to accept that he didn't bite, I took to him like a duck to water!
[Crowley. Choked. That swallow of scotch went down all the wrong pipes and he was just grateful he didn't actually have to breathe! The lungs were just for show, having learned to take breaths on regular intervals to fit in with humans.]
A-Angel! [He squawked.] What my good friend here means to say is that we've been friends for over six thousand years!
Yes! We had an Arrangement! [He looked so proud of himself! Completely and unequivocally!]
An Arrangement not to fight each other! [Crowley was struggling to keep the angel's foot out of his mouth! And yet Aziraphale seemed so keen to just open his mouth and keep inserting his loafer! Az started to speak again and Crowley cut him off.] Angel, so help me, if you say another word, I will make you do your own dusting!
[ So it had been quite some time, then! When Crowley choked however, Lucifer looked to him with a blink of surprise, then slowly looked more confused as they both continued on. Both hands ended up being held up, trying to calm things down - in particular, Crowley! ]
Crowley! Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to push buttons. I'm not judging, if that helps. Would be the pot calling the kettle black and all that. Whatever lies between you two, I'm just glad to see you've got each other.
[ A little glance to the side, unconsciously rubbing his thumb against his wedding ring. ] Important to have someone to keep you sane.
[Aziraphale didn't know what the fuss was about! Crowley had never been shy about their friendship before, except when it would get them in trouble. But It was all out in the open now, so...
The angel's gaze followed the subtle movement, the gold glimmer catching his eye when Lucifer rubbed the ring. Oh.
...
Oh!
Crowley was saying something about no buttons had been pressed, really, and that he just didn't want Lucifer to get the wrong idea when the angel squeaked, turning cherry red.]
OH! Oh goodness me! No, no, not together like that! My! We're just friends! Best friends. Well, I'm his only friend. But still the best! Even if the selection for that is more like a participation trophy, but I'll take that if only to call him friend!
[...There the angel goes again, opening his mouth and inserting his foot! Somehow, that felt worse than when he was unintentionally babbling. Mostly because... well... that didn't matter. Time to divert and redirect because feelings and Crowley didn't get along.]
Or someone to drive you insane is just as good, I reckon. And you? How long have you been with Charlie's mother? [Did he catch her name...? Um...] Lilith, right?
[ Well, their awkwardness would become his awkwardness at the question. Lucifer cleared his throat slightly against the tightness in his chest that arose. ]
Well, we were together for about ten thousand years, give or take? But, ha ha, we're on a bit of a... a break, right now.
[ Just admitting she had up and left him and Charlie? He couldn't get it out of his throat even if he tried. Not even for Charlie. He and Charlie still have yet to have a good talk about it, and that was all on him. The whole thing still felt so messy, so wrong to not have her at his side.
But he still wore his ring. He'd promised her that day she slid it on that it would never leave his finger, and so it remained. ]
[Both angel and demon went quiet abruptly. They seemed even more awkward and the angel looked anxious while the demon just looked out of place. It was the angel who pipped up.]
Well, that's far longer than any human relationship could be. This Lilith, she's a sinner, yes? Perhaps she's... oh what do humans call it? Having a mid-life crisis? It's my understanding that, when this happens, they step back from things they love out of some misguided sense to prove themselves. Doing things they normally wouldn't or would be considered foolish.
[Crowley looked more and more uncomfortable as Aziraphale spoke. He knew the angel's heart was in the right place, but...]
Alcohol! [Crowley chimed in and with a wave, a plate of white bread and six glasses of different coloured wines appeared in front of Lucifer.] That's another good tasting cornerstone!
[ The look Lucifer gave Crowley spoke volumes, knowing why the other had chosen to do that and really? He was grateful. It was such a difficult subject for him to even deal with internally, never mind if he had to explain it to someone else. However, looking over the wines, he briefly debated if he even had interest still in the idea of alcohol.
With a flick of his fingers over the offerings, Lucifer forced up a smile over his feelings. ]
Will you both join me? Though, you know, I have a thought running in the back of my mind.
[ With a glance around the circle, an eyebrow lifted in curiosity. Would it be possible? ]
I wonder... if I can be summoned here, could you be summoned by me back to my Hell? What a strange thing to say- 'my' Hell. [ Lucifer snorted, picking up the first glass in long fingers and swirling it once in the glass thoughtfully. ]
[Crowley raised a curious eyebrow. That was indeed an interesting question. ]
Well, I've no doubt a summoning circle could pull me over. The angel could, of course follow with a bit of magic, but...
To Hell? You want to...? Me? An angel?
[That was the kneejerk reaction he expected. Crowley leaned forward resting his chin on his hand and let Aziraphale squirm on the hook for a moment. He saw when the realisation of how rude that came off sunk in and the desperate look the angel gave him. He let Az struggle a tiny bit longer then piped up.]
You'll be fine, Angel. You know I'll never let anything happen to you.
Oh, Crowley... The last and only time I've been to Hell, I took a holy water bath as you.
[Crowley made a halted sound in the back of his throat and was now the one squirming.]
This is a different Hell, Angel. You'll be a guest of Lucifer's, not a prisoner of Beelzebub's. Come on, you love exploring new things as much as I do!
...a habit picked up from you. ...oh, fine. I suppose it couldn't hurt...
[Crowley grinned and finished off his glass of scotch. He was lightly buzzed but that could be easily remedied.]
[ Aziraphale's reaction? Delightful. Lucifer couldn't help but smirk with amusement at the first part-
-which turned into confused shock at the mention of a holy water bath, excuse you!? ]
Oh, oh no, no, you aren't allowed to skip by that statement about a holy water bath in Hell- as Crowley?! How were you Crowley? ...How does a holy water bath even work- why was there even one in Hell?? [ Lucifer visibly and audibly pauses as a thought occurs to him. ] Heh, when I take a bath, is it considered a holy water bath or a demonic water bath? Maybe they neutralize into just water.
[ Though Lucifer does give a nod in Crowley's direction. ] You would both be my honored guests. If anyone so much as sneers in your direction, they'll regret their choice.
[They both paused then looked at Lucifer. Right, that probably did sound odd, didn't it? But before Crowley could form a sentence, Aziraphale was on it.]
Well, you see, we angered Heaven and Hell by stopping their war. They... saw fit to execute us. A book of prophecies warned us of the incoming danger and we planned accordingly. We swapped bodies! When our respective sides captured us, they sentenced us to extinction. Permanent death via holy water and hell fire. Michael lent Hell archangel blessed holy water for Crowley's execution and Hell sent hell fire to Gabriel for mine. But our swap made us immune. Confused the higher ups and we were released!
[The angel seemed so proud of himself while Crowley looked somewhat irritated with just the mention of Gabriel. Those words bouncing around in his head again that had sparked true rage in the demon. Something he never really felt.]
I'd be down for a trip to a Hell that didn't want to bathe me in holy water.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-06-05 06:33 pm (UTC)Who knows. But it's not our place to question the design. What's important is that you are who you are and maybe the opportunity here is that you've been given some perspective on what it might look like if you were those things? A man who loves his daughter dearly and has a much bigger heart than any might think is far superior to a terrible outcast who neglects his son and wants to see the world burn. If I may be so bold, I dare say you have more in common with Crowley. [He ignored the startled sound from the demon.]
Lucifer disagreed with some of the decisions being made upstairs. He didn't like the humanity project and took it to an extreme. Which caused a chain event. Any of us that had questioned a decision made were cast out due to his extreme views. Like... cutting away all damaged tissue to remove an infection.
Oh, Crowley...
I'm alright, Angel. Just offering some insight. But maybe somehow, some of that story bled over to your reality. Maybe a soothsayer peering into the wrong crystal ball or something. Magic isn't always predictable.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-05 06:58 pm (UTC)I don't know what you were previously, Crowley, but my gift is creation. [ Lucifer gave a little bitter laugh. ] The angel of Creation, the lone soul who wasn't allowed to be involved in the creation of the new world and its inhabitants.
[ In the wake of his words, he shrugged. ] Meeting you, hearing our stories are not so different? Now I wonder... if that's exactly what we were supposed to do in His- Her- impossible to understand plan.
[ With a showmanistic gesture of a hand and a beautiful flare of golden magic, the tabletop changed. Before all three of them laid a large meal, each of them with something specific to them. Lucifer's best guess at what they would appreciate. A lovely triple stand in front of Aziraphale with scones and clotted cream on one level, macaroons on another, and finger sandwiches on the last. In front of Crowley, a delicious steak of unknown origin with a small pat of butter, a beautifully loaded baked potato, and vegetables. Last, before himself, an entire stack of pancakes which looked normal to him but might be odd to the others given that they're a strange blue color.
A new pot of tea for the angel - guaranteed a flavor he had never tried before, given its origin, a hand-labeled bottle of scotch for the demon, and bless he needed some coffee if he was going to remain awake for the rest of the day. ]
Ta da~
no subject
Date: 2024-06-05 07:47 pm (UTC)--Don't say it!
--Ineffable Plan.
[Crowley groaned dramatically and threw an arm over his eyes, leaning back in the chair.] You're insufferable.
But I believe everything happens for a reason. Your Fall, Crowley's Fall. They were all part of Her Plan.
And I think it's a load of bollix! If it was pre-planned, why punish us for something She wanted to happen? That free-fall wasn't fun! Burning everything holy from my being, scorching my wings in boiling sulphur? That wasn't--! [He cut himself off when he felt Aziraphale's mounting anxiety. This was clearly a sore spot between them and wasn't something they had resolved. Neither was it something Crowley seemed to have come to terms with.
The showy gesture from Lucifer helped to pull their minds from the old argument as they both watched. Crowley lifted both brows at the elaborate setup, very much appreciating his side of things. With a thought and a snap of his fingers, his own tea cup suddenly remembered that it was actually a scotch glass and how silly of it to think it had been a tea cup! He picked up the bottle of scotch and poured some in his glass.]
Man after my own heart.
Crowley has always been very tight-lipped about his position in Heaven before.
Because it's not important anymore. Lovely spread, by the way, Lulu. Much appreciated. I like the glitter. It's a nice touch. Makes our miracles look boring.
Oh, this is positively delightful! [The angel cooed happily and refilled his cup with the new tea then snatched up one of the sweets. Lucifer had pegged him correctly as well! Major sweet tooth, this one! He sipped the tea and hummed even more delightedly.] I quite like that! Tea from your realm?
no subject
Date: 2024-06-05 08:19 pm (UTC)Scotch is from my own collection. [ A little play of amusement over his lips. Then, to Aziraphale: ] It is. Specifically, from the Sloth Ring. Bel- ah, Belphagor- grows the best tea anywhere in Hell.
[ He gave a pleased shrug and picked up fork and knife and dug into the pancakes, already prepped just how he liked them. ] It seems to me regardless of where you started, where you are on the angel-demon scale, both of you have a new role as Earth's protectors. You're both something unique to either side - and from the sound of it, for the better.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-05 09:14 pm (UTC)[With Crowley's inarticulate attempt, Aziraphale picked up the slack.] You grow your own food. Is eating required where you're from, Lucifer?
Enjoying food and drink is something we picked up in our time on Earth. The others find it disgusting to consume. [Crowley dug into the steak and vegetables quite happily. Chasing it down with a swig of the Scotch. It had unique notes he'd never tasted before, making it even more of a unique experience.
He listened and contemplated that for a moment. Then lifted his glass in a toast.]
Here's to all three of us being something unique.
Here, here! [Aziraphale lifted his tea cup.]
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Date: 2024-06-05 10:34 pm (UTC)[ He taps his finger on his fork, thinking, before deciding to go with: ] I've seen some that are objects personified. Some resemble creatures. Some are just strange amalgamations of limbs, torso, and head. [ He knew how it must sound, and so he gave a little shrug to his own words. ] They just appear in Hell like that. No one, I don't even think Heaven, knows the rhyme or reason to it. I've heard that their bodies can have something to do with how they lived or died, but I haven't exactly sat down and asked a group of them to confirm if that's true or not.
[ At the suggestion of the toast, how could he have said no? Lucifer picked up his coffee and lifted it in solidarity, gesturing forward before taking a drink. ]
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Date: 2024-06-06 08:13 am (UTC)Somewhere, in another realm, Alastor feels offended.
Honestly, to these two, it doesn't sound all that odd. Well, except the objects personified thing. That was a bit... well, strange. But angel and demon forms--true forms--varied. The humanoid appearance they maintained was a bit of a relaxed view.]
Oh, that's interesting! Many demons here have reptilian and insectoid qualities! Crowley is by far one of the most mild cases, but they're almost branded in a sense... [The angel's voice trailed off when the demon self-consciously put his sunglasses back on to hide his eyes. He continued after a moment, in a much gentler tone,] ...you know I love your eyes, my dear boy.
We can pull the features back, but there will always be something visible to mark us for what we are. Even Dukes of Hell. Beelzebub and their flies, Hastur and his frogs, but I can't say I've ever seen any resembling objects. Then again, we all Fell around the same time, before the dawn of Man so such things hadn't been thought up yet.
How do you keep up with the food demand for so many sinners and the Hellborn there? I'm surprised they have to eat. ...they can't starve, can they? That would... be unpleasant. Die, end up in Hell, only to starve to death. I can't say I've experienced the sensation, but we've both lived through every famine on Earth and seen what it does to humans.
[Was that Crowley showing concern for human souls he didn't even know? Not very demonic of him.]
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Date: 2024-06-06 01:34 pm (UTC)[ With a look to Crowley, Lucifer gave a charming smile, using some pancake on his fork to emphasize his words with a gesture. ] I agree with Aziraphale. I think the eyes are striking.
[ At the comment about starving, Lucifer winced slightly at the notion but couldn't lie to pretty it up. ] Technically, anything that can kill a human can likely kill a demon even if they're significantly sturdier, so yes they can starve to death. They'll come back from that sort of death, but I can't imagine it's any more pleasant. We have fairly significant farms on all of the Rings, and my magic is still a part of every ring of Hell, making sure they stay thriving.
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Date: 2024-06-06 03:36 pm (UTC)As if we need a reminder. [Crowley grumbled. But the compliment to his eyes from both of them had him flustered. Hesitantly, he reached back up and slowly pulled his shades off again. Peer-pressuring angels! He folded them and slipped them away once more.]
No, I imagine it's not... But, you're managing the souls of every corrupt human and all those Hellborn. You can only do so much, angel of creation or not. [He'd seen that wince and he wanted to wipe away any doubt Lucifer might have.] But if you've never been to the surface, you're working without a base code for most of this stuff. Must be difficult to get the flavours right when you first started supplying the rings with the seeds for crops. If there's anything you've ever wanted to taste, just name it.
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Date: 2024-06-06 04:10 pm (UTC)I... never thought about that. Everything in Hell started with my imagination to create food, and then as sinners began to arrive adjusting and adding more but it's always as they describe it. Only once in a blue moon do I get a chance to actually try something from the human world.
[ With a nod towards Crowley's scotch, for example. Which suggested everything else on the table was mimicking what Lucifer had guessed and figured out about flavors - well, other than Crowley's steak. But for a moment, with Lucifer's next words, there's some glimmer of the angel that had once been. It lights up inside of him with all the innocent excitement of a child. ]
I'd want to try everything!
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Date: 2024-06-06 10:19 pm (UTC)The sheer glee in Lucifer's expression struck a deep cord in Crowley. He knew that feeling intimately. The wonder and excitement! It was bloody infectious! Making the demon smile in turn. Crowley held a hand out in the angel's direction.]
Angel, paper.
[Aziraphale fished a scrap of parchment out of his vest and gave it to the demon. Crowley held it between thumb and crooked forefinger. It was about the size of a notecard. He stood from the table, taking a step back, and unfurled his wings from the ethereal plane. Black, sleek, and perfectly groomed. Off to the side, Aziraphale gasped and covered his mouth with a hand, knowing just what Crowley was about to do and Lucifer had no idea just how much this meant coming from someone like Crowley. Someone who was so terrible vain about his wings. Crowley ran a hand over one of the wings as he brought it close until he found just what would hurt the least and not affect flight. He followed the shaft of the feather all the way to his skin and winced as he plucked the feather from his wing. He dismissed his wings back to the ethereal plane and sat back down.
He held the paper and the feather in the same hand and with a thought, the surface caught fire in a particular wiggly pattern. Then, all at once, the flames were doused as Crowley blew on the paper, leaving a charred sigil burned into it. The feather having seemingly burned away. The card hummed with power. The power of a Miracle with a distinctly Crowley flavoured magic. He held it out to Lucifer.]
I think we'll be here for a century trying things and preforming that many tiny tricks will start to turn some heads. That card is infused with my sigil and infused with a piece of me. The real me, not my corporation. That paper can't be destroyed without holy water. Think of it like a diving tether. It will let me reach you again. Just pulse it with some of your magic and I'll feel it like a pager. I should be able to pull you back here any time you send a pulse through. Well, not here here. More like... ehhh... the Sands of Time. We'll be able to have a bit of a chat, some lunch, I'm sure even the Angel will be willing to bring a book or two for you to enjoy.
[Why yes, Crowley did just give Lucifer a personal calling card to reach him so they could have more of these little meetings.]
But in the mean time, [The angel snapped his fingers and a tasting platter with a bit of apple pie, pumpkin pie, key lime pie, cherry pie, and another half dozen other bite-sized bits appeared in front of Lucifer.] let's start with that.
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Date: 2024-06-06 10:54 pm (UTC)Lucifer tilted his head as Crowley stood up, wondering what was about to happen-
OH.
His eyes go wide in pure delight to see the stunning black wings. Only he had retained the feathery wings of an angel, though Bee and Bel had managed to retain a method of flight in different ways. ]
They're amazing! [ Aziraphale would hear Lucifer's whisper, though when he watched Crowley pluck out a feather, he winced in empathy. His gaze was heavy with curiosity as he witnessed Crowley use some of his own magic - he wouldn't have thought to call it a miracle - and when presented with the card, took it with respect and listened closely as he internally felt out the 'taste' of Crowley's magic now that it was in his hands.
It really did feel like one of his fellow Fallen.
But as Crowley finished his description of what he had so willingly given, Lucifer's eyes went wider than ever. He looked down to the piece of paper in his hand, then back up, struggling to find the words. It was an incredible gift to be given. ]
...thank you, Crowley. [ With an intense gratitude in his eyes. He tucked the card neatly into his inner breast pocket, an idea starting to take root in the back of his mind.
However, Aziraphale had excellent timing to distract him with the brilliant sight of a multitude of pies. Not the only one with a sweet tooth at this table! ]
Ahh...! You need to tell me what everything is! [ Because he was already peering with interest at every little offering, studying them and sniffing a little at the air. Oh it smelled divine! ]
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Date: 2024-06-07 01:13 am (UTC)He nodded at the thanks, feeling awkward, and was grateful for Aziraphale's timing as well.]
Start with that one. [He pointed at the little apple pie bite.] Left to right, apple pie, pumpkin pie, key lime pie, cherry pie, pecan pie, boston cream pie, strawberry rhubarb pie, blueberry pie, and peach pie!
[Crowley looked over at the pies then at the angel.] Really? Not a single English pie? I suppose with your sweet tooth, I shouldn't be surprised. [And, with a snap, another trey appeared next to the first. Similar set up, bite-sized bits, but these pies all smell savoury.]
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Date: 2024-06-07 01:39 am (UTC)When he swallowed, his eyes reopened and he smacked his tongue. ]
...that. is. delicious. [ Aziraphale, what pleasures you have brought this old devil! It was all incredible - even what he liked less than others, just being able to experience them was a joy through and through. ]
Why is the lime 'key' specifically? Is it some kind of special lime?
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Date: 2024-06-07 01:58 am (UTC)Oh! It's a named such after a particular type of lime! They're a bit more tart and quite popular on a little group of islands called the Keys!
Angel, you're drooling. [Crowley chuckled and Aziraphale brought a hand to his mouth in shock but found that he wasn't. Oh... Figure of speech. He huffed at the demon, but didn't actually look annoyed.]
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Date: 2024-06-07 02:08 am (UTC)If it isn't too rude to ask, how long have the two of you been together? From how you've talked about the past, it seems like it's been quite some time. I don't think such a thing has ever happened between Heaven and Hell where I'm from, so the concept is very interesting.
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Date: 2024-06-07 02:32 am (UTC)Oh! Not rude at all! I met Crowley once, before he Fell, but we've been officially meeting up for over six thousand years! Right off from Eden, I'd say! It did take me some time to warm up to him, of course, but once I came to accept that he didn't bite, I took to him like a duck to water!
[Crowley. Choked. That swallow of scotch went down all the wrong pipes and he was just grateful he didn't actually have to breathe! The lungs were just for show, having learned to take breaths on regular intervals to fit in with humans.]
A-Angel! [He squawked.] What my good friend here means to say is that we've been friends for over six thousand years!
Yes! We had an Arrangement! [He looked so proud of himself! Completely and unequivocally!]
An Arrangement not to fight each other! [Crowley was struggling to keep the angel's foot out of his mouth! And yet Aziraphale seemed so keen to just open his mouth and keep inserting his loafer! Az started to speak again and Crowley cut him off.] Angel, so help me, if you say another word, I will make you do your own dusting!
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Date: 2024-06-07 03:43 am (UTC)Crowley! Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to push buttons. I'm not judging, if that helps. Would be the pot calling the kettle black and all that. Whatever lies between you two, I'm just glad to see you've got each other.
[ A little glance to the side, unconsciously rubbing his thumb against his wedding ring. ] Important to have someone to keep you sane.
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Date: 2024-06-07 04:01 am (UTC)The angel's gaze followed the subtle movement, the gold glimmer catching his eye when Lucifer rubbed the ring. Oh.
...
Oh!
Crowley was saying something about no buttons had been pressed, really, and that he just didn't want Lucifer to get the wrong idea when the angel squeaked, turning cherry red.]
OH! Oh goodness me! No, no, not together like that! My! We're just friends! Best friends. Well, I'm his only friend. But still the best! Even if the selection for that is more like a participation trophy, but I'll take that if only to call him friend!
[...There the angel goes again, opening his mouth and inserting his foot! Somehow, that felt worse than when he was unintentionally babbling. Mostly because... well... that didn't matter. Time to divert and redirect because feelings and Crowley didn't get along.]
Or someone to drive you insane is just as good, I reckon. And you? How long have you been with Charlie's mother? [Did he catch her name...? Um...] Lilith, right?
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Date: 2024-06-07 03:42 pm (UTC)Well, we were together for about ten thousand years, give or take? But, ha ha, we're on a bit of a... a break, right now.
[ Just admitting she had up and left him and Charlie? He couldn't get it out of his throat even if he tried. Not even for Charlie. He and Charlie still have yet to have a good talk about it, and that was all on him. The whole thing still felt so messy, so wrong to not have her at his side.
But he still wore his ring. He'd promised her that day she slid it on that it would never leave his finger, and so it remained. ]
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Date: 2024-06-07 05:45 pm (UTC)Well, that's far longer than any human relationship could be. This Lilith, she's a sinner, yes? Perhaps she's... oh what do humans call it? Having a mid-life crisis? It's my understanding that, when this happens, they step back from things they love out of some misguided sense to prove themselves. Doing things they normally wouldn't or would be considered foolish.
[Crowley looked more and more uncomfortable as Aziraphale spoke. He knew the angel's heart was in the right place, but...]
Alcohol! [Crowley chimed in and with a wave, a plate of white bread and six glasses of different coloured wines appeared in front of Lucifer.] That's another good tasting cornerstone!
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Date: 2024-06-10 04:23 am (UTC)With a flick of his fingers over the offerings, Lucifer forced up a smile over his feelings. ]
Will you both join me? Though, you know, I have a thought running in the back of my mind.
[ With a glance around the circle, an eyebrow lifted in curiosity. Would it be possible? ]
I wonder... if I can be summoned here, could you be summoned by me back to my Hell? What a strange thing to say- 'my' Hell. [ Lucifer snorted, picking up the first glass in long fingers and swirling it once in the glass thoughtfully. ]
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Date: 2024-06-10 12:26 pm (UTC)Well, I've no doubt a summoning circle could pull me over. The angel could, of course follow with a bit of magic, but...
To Hell? You want to...? Me? An angel?
[That was the kneejerk reaction he expected. Crowley leaned forward resting his chin on his hand and let Aziraphale squirm on the hook for a moment. He saw when the realisation of how rude that came off sunk in and the desperate look the angel gave him. He let Az struggle a tiny bit longer then piped up.]
You'll be fine, Angel. You know I'll never let anything happen to you.
Oh, Crowley... The last and only time I've been to Hell, I took a holy water bath as you.
[Crowley made a halted sound in the back of his throat and was now the one squirming.]
This is a different Hell, Angel. You'll be a guest of Lucifer's, not a prisoner of Beelzebub's. Come on, you love exploring new things as much as I do!
...a habit picked up from you. ...oh, fine. I suppose it couldn't hurt...
[Crowley grinned and finished off his glass of scotch. He was lightly buzzed but that could be easily remedied.]
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Date: 2024-06-10 01:23 pm (UTC)-which turned into confused shock at the mention of a holy water bath, excuse you!? ]
Oh, oh no, no, you aren't allowed to skip by that statement about a holy water bath in Hell- as Crowley?! How were you Crowley? ...How does a holy water bath even work- why was there even one in Hell?? [ Lucifer visibly and audibly pauses as a thought occurs to him. ] Heh, when I take a bath, is it considered a holy water bath or a demonic water bath? Maybe they neutralize into just water.
[ Though Lucifer does give a nod in Crowley's direction. ] You would both be my honored guests. If anyone so much as sneers in your direction, they'll regret their choice.
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Date: 2024-06-10 01:52 pm (UTC)Well, you see, we angered Heaven and Hell by stopping their war. They... saw fit to execute us. A book of prophecies warned us of the incoming danger and we planned accordingly. We swapped bodies! When our respective sides captured us, they sentenced us to extinction. Permanent death via holy water and hell fire. Michael lent Hell archangel blessed holy water for Crowley's execution and Hell sent hell fire to Gabriel for mine. But our swap made us immune. Confused the higher ups and we were released!
[The angel seemed so proud of himself while Crowley looked somewhat irritated with just the mention of Gabriel. Those words bouncing around in his head again that had sparked true rage in the demon. Something he never really felt.]
I'd be down for a trip to a Hell that didn't want to bathe me in holy water.
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